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Motivational Monday Moment – 03.19.18

I’m back! I’ve missed you so much. I’ve been sick this last week and now I’m trying to get back in the swing of things. I’m a work in progress as I’m trying to keep peace in my spirit because I can’t take the stress. I’m scheduled to have surgery in the next couple of months and I know that my doctor won’t do it with high blood pressure so I’m working on releasing my stress. That’s why I didn’t post last week.

I ran across this post that inspired me and I wanted to share it with you in my Motivational Monday Moment. It says “Peace is the result of restraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be”. This is so accurate. This is where I want to be. However, I am not.

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I think of things in terms of absolute. I’ve told you this before. Things are black and white. They are or they aren’t. There are no shades of gray with me. This causes major issues when I deal with people that don’t make sense. When I deal with irrational and non-reasonable thinking people I get overwhelmed.

I wonder… how can you think like that? The answer is simple. You are the cause of your own issue. Don’t you see that?  They don’t. But, I’m stressing myself out wanting them to somehow be different. Is it possible for them to be different? No, yes, maybe?

I’ve learned that I need to stop trying to overthink and over analyze it.  It is what it is and the unnecessary frustrations that disrupt my peace are a result of my own doing. I am responsible for me. That’s it. I can’t make a square peg fit into a round hole. I have to protect my peace and retrain my mind. Things are as they are and not how they should be.

It’s hard. It’s really hard. I know. I get it. My girlfriend said that her therapist had told her that she needed to realize that her ex was an orange and will always be an orange. My therapist refers to it as me having expectations of other people. She says that I should expect that they are who they show me. Do you know people like that?

Well, my Motivational Monday Moment is about encouraging us to find our peace. Our “Peace is the result of restraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be”. Can you do that? I’m willing to try.

 

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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43 Life Lessons

Today is my birthday. My 43rd to be exact. I’m ecstatic. I’ve lived to see another year. I’m so blessed. Life hasn’t always been easy, but I’m a firm believer that there is a lesson in the midst of chaos. I’ve learned a lot over the years. So, I want to share with you the 43 life lessons that I’ve learned along the way:

  1. Life isn’t fair.
  2. Show up and show out.
  3. Be intentional.
  4. Love like there’s no tomorrow.
  5. Forgive yourself.
  6. Forgive others.
  7. Love yourself truly, madly and deeply.
  8. Believe.
  9. Have hope.
  10. Have faith.
  11. Make better choices.
  12. Leave if you want too.
  13. Leave if you need too.
  14. Choose you.
  15. Choose happiness.
  16. Release negative people.
  17. Release negative thoughts.
  18. Trust again.
  19. Get therapy.
  20. Set goals.
  21. Achieve your goals.
  22. Meditate.
  23. Protect your brand/name.
  24. Love again.
  25. Tell people you love them.
  26. Own your truth.
  27. Travel.
  28. Drink wine.
  29. Love what you do.
  30. Journal.
  31. Be willing to change.
  32. Pray.
  33. Take plenty of pictures.
  34. Smile often.
  35. Get a yearly check-up.
  36. Exercise occasionally. LOL.
  37. Drink water.
  38. Do what you love.
  39. Find your purpose.
  40. Write your own rules.
  41. Re-write your rules if you feel like it.
  42. Give freely.
  43. Dream often and in color.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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You Have The Power

I wanted to share a #WednesdayWisdom message with you. My message is simply:

You Have The Power

You have the power to determine the path that your life will take. You have the power to engage in foolishness and you have the power to disengage from it as well. A lot of times we feel helpless in the sense that we feel we must do what society believes we should do and what we truly want to do. Do you boo.

You have the power to decide what the path is that you want to take. No one else can or should decide it for you. Don’t let people tell you that you have to do something you just don’t want to do. Let me give you some examples.

Example 1: I’m a firm believer in not wasting my time. Time is something I can never get back. I don’t like wasting my time. Time is more valuable to me than money. You can always earn back money, but you can’t get time once it is wasted. One of the things that I do to make sure that I don’t waste time is to create a mental check list of what things are working for me and what things aren’t. I then decide whether or not I will continue to engage in those things that aren’t yielding results or move on. The result: I’ve moved on a lot in the last few years.

Example 2: Not responding. I used to believe that everything required a response. If you said something out of your mouth to me sideways, I had to respond. If you wrote me an email with some BS, I had to respond. If you said something about me behind my back, I had to respond. You see the issue right? I was always responding. Feeling the need to defend myself, character or actions. Nope, not anymore. With age comes wisdom.  The result: I don’t respond. My ignore game is strong.

Example 3: You should be nice to people that have wronged you. Nope! Not at all. Wait one minute. Why would you be nice to someone who mistreats you? Who told you that you should keep killing them with kindness? Probably your nice relatives right? Grandma, mom or Aunt Susie Mae? I don’t subscribe to this philosophy anymore. It has negative consequences for you. Your health matters. You matter. If someone is treating you like crap, why would you keep being nice to them, being the bigger person, extending an olive branch or even speaking to them? I’m not suggesting be mean. On the contrary. I’m speaking about protecting you and putting your needs first. The result: Like Cardi B sings in her new song Bodak Yellow: “If I see you and I don’t speak – That means I don’t f*ck with you” The result: I no longer feel obligated to be nice to those that have hurt me. I don’t speak. I don’t engage. I speak when I need and/or want too.

I’m all about encouraging you to live the best possible life. You can’t live that life if you are falling victim to societal norms and expectations about how you should behave when people mistreat you. You have to choose you. You have to take back the power. Turn the other cheek and keep it moving. Don’t waste your time, your response or your voice. Choose you.

Stay strong loves!

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Reblog: Yep I’m Scared

I get scared sometimes. I think back to all the times I’ve hid my true self, my feelings or my insecurities in an effort to put on a brave face for everyone else and how that has somehow held me back all these years. I get scared. I am sometimes too afraid to tell someone how I feel about something because I don’t want to seem argumentative. But, if it’s how I feel, does it matter?

I’ve been exploring and self-evaluating my life a lot lately and I realized that I’m a scaredy cat. I get afraid to reveal the real me and let folks in. My friend gave me a great piece of advice last week when he said, “You can’t go through life being afraid to let folks in and keeping pieces of the real you hidden. Life is about taking the plunge and just wading through the water and see where it goes.” (It was probably less poetic because he is a man, but you get the gist right?). I do hide the real me and don’t like to let people in. I’m guarded. I’m closed off when in unfamiliar territories. Especially those that deal with the heart.

So, I wait. I try to analyze, micro-analyze every problem and situation so that I can’t see the forest for the big tree in my vision. I am a runner. I justify my running away as a part of life. It’s me. If things get to complicated or too emotional, I’m out. I don’t want to get hurt. So, I shield myself, my heart, my mind from folks who just want to get to know the real me. But, the real me is too sensitive for this world. She’s not someone use to sharing pieces of her soul.

Until now. I have bared more of my soul in the last year than I ever have. I’ve let my guard down (that 100 foot barbed wire wall around my heart) and started letting people see the real me. Nothing fancy. Just a glimpse of who I am. I had to. God said it’s time. It’s time to let the wall down and share. But, I keep dragging my feet. Slowly because I’m afraid. I don’t  want my heart to get broken. I don’t want to be uncomfortable.

But, you have to be uncomfortable to grow. I need to face my fears no matter how scared I am. I remember my pastor preaching about growing in the valley with the myrtle trees and I am reminded that life is just that. Growing in uncomfortable places and situations.

I’m terrified, but I know that I need to move forward and grow. Just grow.  Whether it’s my branches that spread to support the leaves in my life or my roots that grow deep in the ground, I need to grow. Growth is good. I’m not saying that it won’t be hard and I will continue to guard my heart, but I can’t move forward if I’m too afraid to jump.  I may get hurt, but I will learn. I will grow. I will survive.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Reblog: Ghost

I had a dream last night with my ghost.

We were running in a field of wildflowers.

Big

Open

Majestic

We were laughing and playing.

Like old times.

We paused.

Laid down in the wild flowers.

He held my hand while I cried.

I told him about my dreams that were unfilled

My hopes that had died

My bones that had been broken

My tears yet to fall

He smiled

He whispered five words

in my ear.

I was comforted by his presence.

Renewed by his encouragement.

I awoke knowing that I would get through

this life.

No matter what may come I know he meant it

when he whispered

“Never Stop Believing In You”

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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#WisdomWednesday – 7.12.17

God has a way of working things out in your favor while you’re not paying attention.

I’ve been trying to minimize the stress in my life. Choosing to focus on the positives and as my soror always says “Living my happy black life”. That being said things still get to me. I still wonder why some people are intent on bringing me off my mountain top of bliss. But, I won’t let it. I have to keep focused and continue living my life.

It’s on those moments of chaos and discord that God steps in.

I had stopped worrying. I was in a good place. But, God knew that I needed something. That I wanted something. A sign that he’s not forgotten me.

He stepped in and gave that to me. He gave me amazing news like finding out that one of my posts was seen by a stranger that wanted to share it on a website that has over 30 million monthly readers. Woohoo! I was having dinner with Mr. C when I got the message. Talk about God re-shifting my focus. This was amazing and I promise to share more when it gets posted.

I was in this joyful place. Then a couple of days later that bubble burst. More drama. My mind started to shift and wander into a place of unhappiness. I was falling off my mountain top of bliss. I was going into a place of uncomfortable anger and quiet rage.

Then God stepped in.

Again.

I woke up Saturday morning with a woman from Instagram liking all my posts and then following me. She then commented on one of my posts saying “I finally found u! A page on fb that shared a recent blog of mine shared urs too. Girl i love ya work. We need to talk!!” Honestly it freaked me out. Why is this woman wanting to find me? Is she a stalker?

LOL, I’ve become increasingly cautious as I’ve aged. So, I checked out her Instagram page and web page and discovered she is another blogger who has a great website called “Blended and Black” where she is all about trying to create harmony in blended families. Say what now? Yep. I went to her website and was so excited.

God was giving me another aha moment! He was giving me a resource to give me the tools of trying to create a harmonious environment where there isn’t one. I was like “Okay, God. I get it.” And I did. This woman is amazing. I was direct messaging her for most of Saturday morning. You can’t get no better than that. It was like I found a long lost soul sister.

So, my #WisdomWednesday message is meant to inspire you to not give up. No matter what you’re going through or what you’re growing through it will get better. God will re-shift your focus, realign your priorities and help you get back on your mountaintop of bliss.

 

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

 

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Motivational Monday Moment – 7.3.17

Today’s Motivational Monday Moment was inspired by this picture that I saw last week when I was looking for pictures on my Wisdom Wednesday post:

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It’s deep right? But, it’s also very true in its simplest form. We spend so much time trying to figure out or break the code on things that cause us so much stress that there are really only 3 solutions to every problem…accept it, change it or leave it. If you can’t accept it change it. If you can’t change it, then leave it.

Dang! I was blown away when I saw this picture. It stuck with me. It sat in my spirit and really spoke to me over the weekend. This is another piece of the puzzle in my quest for mindfulness and peace. It was like a light bulb went off and I knew what I needed to do. I am working on me. It’s a work in progress, but my Motivational Monday Moment is about using those 3 simple solutions to every problem. Apply them to your life.

Right now.

Don’t worry or stress about a problem. Take what it says literally and try to use it in your life. We spend so much time worrying about things that are beyond our control. We try to fix all our problems and we need to stop. I know it’s hard. I’ve been there and done the same thing. But, isn’t that the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and over and expecting different results?

Try something different.

 

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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My IVF Journey: The 5th Year

We had been married for almost five years. They were both beautiful and brutal years. Our marriage was being tested. He was being tested. We were being tested.

I didn’t know how I felt about having children. We had a lot of problems and I didn’t know if bringing a baby into the situation would be a blessing or a curse. I knew that he wanted kids. He wanted them now. He wanted them the minute we got married. I pushed back. I needed time. I quoted statistics “Most marriages end in divorce and many more end before the five year mark.” I wanted to wait.

He agreed. Reluctantly probably, but he agreed.

July 13, 2007

We were in a bad place. It had been five months since our first failed attempt at IVF. I couldn’t understand why we couldn’t have a baby. I was in a perpetual state of just existing. I felt alone in my marriage. No one could understand the pain I felt knowing that it didn’t work.  I carried the burden of feeling like I was somehow incomplete.

It was my anniversary. I woke up wondering how long before we would be pulling the plug on this farce of a marriage. We were like roommates. Sleeping in the same house in the same bed and not touching. No hugging. No hand holding. No intimacy. I felt more alone than I ever had being single. I was living with a complete stranger.

Pleasantries were exchanged. We were both off today. It was our custom to take off work every time our anniversary fell on a work day. I got up and headed to the shower. I had to go. I got dressed and said good-bye.

There was no mention of anything special occurring on this day. I had made no plans. I just wondered when we were going to end it. Was today the day? I drove to take my mom to the dentist. She was getting her four wisdom teeth pulled and couldn’t drive home. No problem. I’m the oldest. I was already off.

After the dental procedure, I got my mom home and left for home. Not quite sure why I was headed home. It was my anniversary and I felt unloved. This void between us was like a mountain that couldn’t be crossed. I decided to call him from the car. “Hello” he answered. “Hi, are we doing anything special tonight? It’s our anniversary. Trying to figure out my day” I said. “I didn’t think you wanted to do anything. You just got up and left” he said. “I took my mom to the dentist. She got her four wisdom teeth extracted” I responded. “Oh, okay. Yeah, we can go to dinner. I’ll make reservations” he said.

Dinner sucked. The restaurant was in a beautiful location, but the meal was uneventful and not very tasty. We laughed and said that it was the worst meal we’d ever had, but tried to make the best of it. There were glimpses of hope in our strained conversations, hearty laughs, but mainly there was the distinct presence of pain. Too much pain.

To be continued

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Wisdom Wednesday 6.28.17

I wanted to inspire you today. It’s hump day. I hope that this day goes amazingly well for you. I pray that you have minimal stress and lots of laughter. If you do encounter bad things, I pray that you don’t engage and let go of any anger that others may try to cause you. You are a warrior.

 

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY MOMENT – 5/15/2017

Today’s Motivational Monday Moment is about focus. Focusing on what you can and can’t control. Ya’ll know that I’m a control freak and I like to control all the things in my life. I hate surprises. I hate feeling like I have no control over the things that are happening in my life. But, I’m not alone.

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My mom and I were having a discussion and she said “Focus on what you can control and don’t worry about what you can’t.” I let it sit in my spirit for a few days and realized she was right. I can’t control everything. Heck, truthfully speaking I have no control over a lot of things, but I can control how I react to things and not worry about things.

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I needed to stop being distracted by the BS of others and focus on what matters most to me. Not the things that have nothing to do with me. Control. Shift my thinking and trust that everything is working for the good of God. Too many distractions where shifting my focus. Maybe that’s why I was mentally exhausted. Tired and lacked motivation. I was focusing on the wrong things. Things that weren’t making me happy. I was letting them depress me.

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Not anymore. I needed to change my circumstance. Re-frame my mindset and focus on what I can control. What can I control? My emotions. My response. My heart. Those are things in my control. Everything else is beyond my control. I trust that whatever happens, God’s got me. All that I need to do is give it to Him and focus on living each day with purpose. That’s it that’s all.

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So, my Motivational Monday Moment is all about focusing on you. Stop trying to control the things you can’t control. Control how you let the things affect you. Your emotions. Your response. And as my momma said “Focus on what you can control and don’t worry about what you can’t.”

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.