Why Are You Single?

That was the question that I asked Mr. K last week. We were having a conversation and I said, “Why are you single?” I wanted to know. I had to know. You know that whole inquiring minds thing right?

No, it was more than that. This man is different. He opens doors. He pulls out my chair. He listens. He follows through when it comes to showing interest in things I’m doing whether personally or professionally. He converses about things he knows nothing about because I want to talk about them. He listens enthusiastically and makes me feel uber smart and appreciated.

So, you’re probably thinking, T, if you know all of this then why are you asking this man why he’s single? Right? Because I had to know. I mean he’s too good to be true. He’s normal. Normal is good.Β I mean he has dinner with his parents Β every Wednesday. Sidebar: I think this is so cool.

His response? “Because I want to be.” He explained to me that he had two serious relationships that scarred him. He told me how he felt that he couldn’t be with a woman after his divorce because he paid an astronomical amount in child support. He said that he felt that he couldn’t date a woman while paying all that money. Wow! I was shocked by his honesty. But, appreciated that he shared that.

However, I wasn’t expecting his next question though…why are you single? I said because I’m a handful. He laughed. I told him that I was over playing a shrinking violet in someone’s orchestra when I was born to be the prima ballerina in my own ballet. I told him that I am all about compatibility and friendship first. I want to take my time experiencing being courted and making memories that matter and mean something in my life.

I explained that I am in no rush to do anything because I’ve been married before and I don’t want anymore children. I’m done. So for me it truly is me knowing and accepting the fact that the man who is supposed to be in my life will seek me out, court me, understand me, accept me and love me and my son with everything he has. He said I get it. I told him, “Remember when I told you that I want a man who knows I’m the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?” He said, “Yeah.” I replied, “That’s why I’m still single. No man has recognized that.”

Fast forward to today and I’m thinking, self-reflecting, self-evaluating and such and I realized that I was sorta right. I mean I think men recognized that I was the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but they took it for granted that I would always be there shining for them. It sucks, but those experiences only made me stronger.

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7 thoughts on “Why Are You Single?

  1. Very nice! You gotta do whatever you can to empower yourself as a female and forage onward. Single is not a curse! I liked your writing style πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I related to this very much! I, too, have not been recognized as being a pot of gold. I’ve accepted that not all men know what to do with a million dollars in their hands.

    I’m enjoying reading these dating chronicles; they make me feel a little less crazy when it comes to what I will and will not accept! And I love that you always recognize your worth; dating is much harder when you don’t.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL, it was very hard. But, I had to step out of my way and be okay with my boundaries. My filler was hot and good as hell in bed but lacked the emotional intelligence to fill my spirit. He was a deacon in the church too. LMAO. We never discussed religion, God or aspirations. I need more than great sex. I want people to see that I’ve been there and done all that they’ve been through until I woke up one morning and asked God to lead my dating life.

      Liked by 1 person

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