Today’s love theme is about waiting. I posted last month in a two part series about waiting until marriage to have sex again and the importance of honoring my temple and honoring God. Since it’s February and ya’ll are all in love, looking for love, hope to be in love and everything in between, I want to talk about the love called…waiting.
Last September after over a year of dating, I got tired of all the foolishness that I was encountering with the men that I met. I started thinking about what I was putting out in the world to attract the kind of manipulative and immature men that I was meeting. What is wrong with me? I decided that self-reflection was something that I needed to do, but more importantly I needed to pray. I needed guidance.
So, I went to the man above. I went to God and in earnest asked him to help me. I wanted to find love and be in love with a man that honored him first. I told him I was tired of doing it on my own and that I wanted to live in His will. I told him that I know I needed to change and I needed him to send me the man that he wanted me to be with. (It’s A LOT RIGHT?)
Nope, not for my God. So, what did He do? He tempered the lust in my spirit. He allowed me to see clearly the things that I was doing. Now, before you get all up in your feelings know that what God did for me was put me in a place to receive his word, follow his will and be open to the man that he wanted me to have. He was positioning me in a place of power.
I was still doing the on-line dating thing with little interest (I wasn’t interested) in the candidates that I was meeting. I could almost smell the BS in their profile. In my random polite responses of “How are you?” “Thank you for the compliments” and “I had a great weekend” Mr. C. slipped in. Who would’ve thunk it?
Since I delete all the emails in my box I accidentally deleted what he said to me. I asked him, “What did you write in your profile?” He responded “Nothing”. I asked again because apparently he didn’t hear me. “No, for real. What did you write in your profile? I accidentally deleted it.” He responded, “Nothing.” I told him that I’m so shocked that I even responded to him because two rules that I have…don’t respond to a man that doesn’t have a profile picture and don’t respond to a man that doesn’t write anything about himself or what he’s looking for.
Hmm? I was floored. Still can’t figure out what made me respond to his empty profile, but the point of this is that when we started to talk about what we were looking for, likes/dislikes, family, etc. I made it perfectly clear that I was taking my cookies off the table and keeping them firmly locked away in the cupboard until marriage. I told him that I’m not rushing marriage or anything, but that sex was out of the question and how did he feel about that.
He paused. He said, “Okay, so you want to live as God instructs us to and not commit the sin of fornication?” Hot diggity-dog. He knew God was in my heart before I had to tell him. I said, “Yes.” He said, “Okay” and asked “Can we revisit the subject every 6 months?” I said, “Okay, that’s fair, but God isn’t going to give the okay to commit a sin.” We laughed.
Just like that we knew that we were waiting. Waiting for sex and in the interim learning each other. Growing closer to God and to each other without being confused by sex. Sex confuses people to believe that they are in love. Sex isn’t love. Love is love. But, too many times we sell ourselves short for an interim need and feel depressed and disgusted when things don’t work out.
And trust me…many times they don’t! Can all my single friends raise their hands to this one? But, waiting gives you clarity and allows you to see a person without the emotional bond of sex clouding your judgement. That’s why we were happy to see that others waited and are waiting in our age group.
A new book is being released today called The Wait by DeVon Franklin and his wife Megan Good Franklin. Mr. C. and I will be reading this book and I will write my review on it, have him interview me about the book and I will interview him about his thoughts on the book. Stay tuned and pick up the book The Wait.