Many people find it strange that Mr. C and I are practicing abstinence. I’ve heard more than one person ask “So, you’re making him wait?” It really seems to confuse some people. I’m not sure why, but it is funny as hell to Mr. C and I.
Why is it that you view waiting as a bad thing? Am I really making him wait? What is the big deal? These are all the questions that run through my head when I hear someone ask the question of why I’m making him wait. I want to clear up some questions that people may have about us and practicing abstinence.
- I’m not making him wait. He’s choosing to wait to respect the will of God over and through my life. It’s his choice. I’m not forcing him. I’m not holding a gun to his head. I’m not promising him a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. LOL, not yet. He’s a grown man who makes his own decisions so he is choosing to wait.
- It’s hard. Some days are better than others, but we are in no rush for marriage, so no rush to the bedroom. I hear it gets easier, but I have no point of reference to compare it too since this is a first for me. We are not laying up in each other’s house hanging in the bedroom all night, so that takes away the idea of sexing each other up. We spend time watching TV or going out. No hanging around in the bedroom.
- It’s allowing us to truly get to know each other. Let me tell you that even though I’ve known Mr. C for almost 2 years we’re still learning each other. It’s a lot to learn about someone and to really get to know them enough to take their last name. We are truly committed to finding out about each other without making sex the deciding factor that blinds us about each other’s faults.
- I don’t care if the sex is bad. Yep, I said it. People have always asked me “What if the sex is bad?” I don’t care. I’m older now and I realize that sex is overrated. Good, but overrated. I’m not that concerned whether or not he can lay the pipe right. With age comes wisdom. I’m older and I would enjoy sex with my husband. Hell, we’ll figure it out in the bedroom. Having someone rub my feet, give me a massage and just have my back matters more than if he’s banging in the bedroom.
- He respects my boundaries. Mr. C and I have traveled out of town and slept in the same room and nothing has happened. He’s a gentleman that respects me. He’s not using this time to get to know each other outside of our zip code as a chance to jump my bones. He respects the love and relationship we have and just doesn’t try it. The key to being on the same level is making sure that your partner respects your boundaries.
That’s it. No big secret. No kind of witchery is being used. I’ve just been blessed to meet a wonderful man that sees me for who I am and for what I want and just respects that. I’m not making him wait. He’s choosing to wait.