When the D*ck Has You Delirious

Most women can remember a time when they had some good sex. A time when all you wanted was a good piece of meat to take the edge off. That man was a champion lover. He knew all the right moves. He was beyond addictive with his bed skills. But, you couldn’t make it work.

Why not?

Probably because he was a male whore. He knew his skills were beyond compare and he felt it his need to share it with every Jane, Sue and Leslie in town. He was a hot commodity. He never really wanted for a traditional relationship. They bothered him. He didn’t have time for one woman. He wanted many.

He wined, dined and probably 69ed you and you started to catch feelings. You imagined a future with him. He was amazing. He was smart, funny and so sweet to you. You my friend were delirious. He was a piece of d*ck that you enjoyed. You and many others.

He didn’t make it a secret that he couldn’t be a one woman man. There was no reason to pretend. You just got your feelings hurt girl! You started to believe that he could be more than just a booty call. That you could love a man that didn’t love you. You fell for it.

You would pull yourself away from the man who you knew could never love you and go running back each time you felt an ache between your thighs. For what? The same old same old. See, this man is a player. Nothing wrong with it. You just have to know that you’re nothing more than a chess piece and get the hell up from the board.

You need to understand your worth. You need to value yourself more than you do the piece of meat between his legs. You need to stop wasting your time. You see what I’m saying? It’s not him love, it’s you. You are allowing this man whose time has expired to occupy space in your life and in your bed and then trying to convince the rest of us that you are just f*ck buddies.

Naw, boo. You’re playing yourself. Buddies implies that he has respect for you. He doesn’t. He calls you out your name. He makes you feel inferior and puts you in situations that you claim you didn’t enjoy. You begin to change and adapt to his whim knowing deep down inside he doesn’t give a damn about you.

But, you insist on trying to make the world believe that you are in control of the situation. You’re not. You’re in denial. You see the disrespect. You see the writing on the wall and yet you continue to engage. The d*ck is bomb is what you say.

Whatever sis! While you’re dipping and riding all over his joy stick you’re killing yourself slowly. Both physically and mentally with a man that could give a rat’s a*s what you think. He doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t value you. He doesn’t comfort you.

Why should he? You’ve made it too easy for him not to care. It’s not his fault. You allow the continued disrespect. You like it. You see no value in you only what you think you can offer him.

No amount of sex will keep a man. You could be an Olympic gold medalist in the bedroom, but if a man doesn’t respect you, he won’t be kept. So, stop letting the d*ck confuse and abuse you and look in the mirror and love yourself.

Love yourself more than you’ve ever loved yourself and untangle your soul from the foolishness of this pseudo relationship. You will find yourself happier and healthier. Be honest with what you want and who you want and know that you deserve more.

 

 

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Fierce

She loved him dearly.

Each and every day she cooked and cleaned the house.

She catered to the children.

She worked a full-time job.

Her wardrobe was stylish.

Her taste was impeccable.

She was the envy of many women.

“Girl, you’re fierce!” she often heard as she walked down the halls.

She smiled.

She loved her life.

She was fiercely protective of it.

That’s why she insisted on pleasing her husband always.

She believed that in order for him to stay loyal she must be willing to adapt.

She loved him and he loved her.

She donned her black garter belt and zipped up her thigh high boots.

She smacked him with the whip across his ass.

He licked her boots.

She smiled.

She liked being in charge.

She bent over and said “Eat maggot”

 

 

 

 

This post is part of the Daily Post. The word today was fierce

Never

Jackie thought long and hard about what was about to happen. She loved her some Gabe. Gabe was sexy, strong, intelligent. He was as the old folks described “a tall glass of water.” She never thought she would love someone like Gabe.

Or that he would love her back.

Love was foreign to her.

Many men thought they loved Jackie. They didn’t. They loved the idea of her.

Not Gabe.

Gabe told her that he was in love.

That she was the one.

That she had to be his.

She knew too. She knew deep down in her heart that in this space where air felt so electric and love felt true. She knew that she belonged to Gabe. That she had to be his.

But, never.

Never in a million years did she think her life would be like this.

That she would be in love.

That she would be in lust.

That she would be in heaven.

With another woman’s man.

Gabe belonged to another woman.

He vowed his life and fidelity to another.

Then why was Gabe kissing her?

Licking her?

Tasting her?

Sucking her?

Making her moan…

His name.

As she’d never done.

When he knew that he could never.

Never be hers completely.

 

This post is part of the Daily Post. The word for today was never

The Light

I can smell him before I see him. He enters my room looking for me. First, under the bed and then in the closet where I’m hiding. I can hear him coming towards the closet door. I close my eyes and wait. I don’t want to do it again. I don’t like it. I know that if he finds me he will make me do it again. Tony. I hate Tony.

Tony or as he tells me to call him “Uncle Tony” is mama’s new boyfriend. He is big, dark and strong. He stinks. He smokes and drinks dark colored things out of a red cup. Tony comes to the closet door where I am hiding and grabs my hand. He pulls me to the bed and makes me lie down. “Lift your gown up girl” he says loudly in my ear.  Tears roll slowly down my face. I lift up my gown and he smiles. Uncle Tony has crooked teeth. I hate Uncle Tony.

“Yeah, I like that. You’re so pretty Cassie. You look like a princess.” I hate princesses. Princesses are evil. Princesses get bad things done to them. But, I hate a lot of things. I hate princesses, dolls, the boogey man and police officers. I pretty much hate everything, but Jacob.

Jacob is my only friend. No one knows about Jacob.  Jacob says I have a light and I must let it shine. Jacob tells me that he sees me and God is going to help me. Jacob goes to church. I don’t. Jacob taught me a song about my light.

Mama tells me I don’t have friends. She says that Jacob is not real. She says no one likes me and I can’t have friends because I’m not allowed to go to school or play outside.  But, I know Jacob is real. He teaches me things.

Uncle Tony starts to touch me. Slowly. I cringe with disgust and turn my head. I wish that he would hurry up and leave me alone.

I start to sing. I sing slowly and in a low whisper. The only song I know. “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.” The smack is hard on my face, “Shut up gal! I can’t concentrate!”

My face hurts and tears begin to fall down my cheeks. I can’t see. I can’t see through the tears. The door opens and I hear a loud bang. I jump. I scream and cover my ears.

I see Uncle Tony hit the floor. I close my eyes hard to the sight of the red ring forming on my floor. Uncle Tony’s eyes are open. I cry harder.

Jacob comes to my bed and shakes me. “Cassie, it’s me! It’s me, Jacob. You’re okay Cassie. I got him.”

I open my eyes and Jacob is smiling. Jacob reminds me about my light. I smile and start to sing. “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.” Loudly.

I look down and see my mama’s gun in my hands and continue singing at the top of my voice “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.”

 

© Tikeetha Thomas

Bad Choices

He came up behind me and whispered “You know you miss me.” I paused.

My heart quickened to his touch. To his voice. He was too close. “Umm, no I am happy” I replied. He laughed a sinister laugh.

“Don’t you know that I can say your name and feel your body react to my touch? You know that you belong to me. You are mine” he said. I sighed heavily.

It’s true. I missed him. My body was reacting to his touch and his voice. It was like the last 9 months didn’t even matter. Our spirits were tangled in an unnatural way.

Why can’t I let him go? Why can’t I resist this pull he has on my body? Resisting is a futile attempt to feign independence. I’m not independent. I belong to him.

I kiss his lips and wrap my arms around him.

My mind screams…Stop, this is not right! I ignore it. I just give in to his touch.

I’ve missed him.

 

© Tikeetha Thomas

You Finally Got It Girl

Upon the wonderful suggestion of a fellow blogger she suggested that I write a thank you letter to myself for the lessons learned. This is in response to my Thank You For The Lesson letter I published earlier this week. Isn’t that a great idea? So, here goes…

Dear Sis,

You’re beautifully and intimately made. Just the way you are. You have to remember that. You’ve suffered some bumps and bruises along the way, but you know that God has always provided. You have survived many storms and your faith is anchored in His spirit. I know that this dating thing caught you by surprise, but you have to know that you are not alone. There are many beautiful women all over the world dealing with the same foolishness and frustrations that you have with men. Here are three lessons you need to learn in order to survive.

Lesson #1: Girl, get your life. Your life sis! Not his. Stop checking for men that aren’t checking for you. Stop texting and calling a man that has truly made you an after thought instead of his first thought. Stop excusing his negative and misleading characteristics as “Oh, no one is perfect. I can work with that.” The hell you can! You can only fix your own self. You can’t fix him. You can’t make a grown man do anything he doesn’t want to do. You’re not his mama, heck you’re not even his girl. Get your own life and get some back bone and stop settling for foolishness. You are worth more than a few tricks from a silly rabbit.

Lesson #2: Your time is valuable! More valuable than money. Stop wasting it on men that aren’t in it for the long haul. Stop investing in short returns that yield no tangible results. You are trying to build your empire. Your empire is you sweetie and all that you want to do in this life time. Men who aren’t giving their time to you have no place in your life. Not the present nor the future. You work to hustle and grind each and every day so why should you have to settle for that lame excuse of “You know that I’m busy baby”. Really dude? Heck the President runs a country, squashes foreign crisis’, takes time for his children and still has time to show his First Lady why he’s the man. What’s your excuse? Time is valuable and you need to realize first and foremost that a man who isn’t willing to invest his time in you is only looking for a cheap thrill.

Lesson #3: Close your legs baby girl! You don’t have to prove a dang thing to anyone. You need to stop giving men the free ride on the Ferris wheel in your amusement park. Stop acting like you can handle a no string relationship. You can’t. Don’t try. You’re emotional. You’ll fall for him. You’ll confuse his prowess in the bedroom for love and feel yourself being pulled under in a raging sea of BS. You need to put up a sign that reads “No More Free Rides”. Men have to pay. Not boys. Men. I’m not talking about you should be prostituting and selling your goods on the corner sis. I’m talking about him courting your spirit. See that payment is worth more than a few meals at some fancy restaurants. That price means that he has discovered who he is as a man and wants to invest in your future. He’s committing his life to you by giving you the time and space to know that God has sent him to be your king. Nope, he won’t be riding no white horse but listen closely girl…he will be wearing a white glow. The glow that says he knows, loves and respects you. His aura is good. He is in touch with God, his inner spirit and the universe. He is a whole man. He wants to bring you clarity (that’s why his aura is white) because he is not about confusion or drama. He’s strong. He’s willing to wait. He knows your worth and respects it.

Baby girl – I know you’re frustrated and tired of the dating scene, but I need you to know that you’re too valuable to be letting men play you. Get your mind right, get your grind on and keep building your empire. Don’t settle for less out of loneliness. Don’t become bitter or think you will never find a man…you may not. I’m being real. If you don’t that’s okay too. Be happy in your singleness and love the woman, the beautiful woman, the entire woman, the scarred woman, the tired woman, the anxious woman, the betrayed woman and the joyous woman that you are. Love her. Love her with all your might. She needs that.

#momsterslink

Men Lack Consistency

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In a recent “girl talk” conversation some of my girlfriends and I have been tossing around the question “Why do men court you up until you have sex with them and then they stop? Stop trying to do things to make you smile. Stop doing the “little gestures” you found sweet. Stop the calling or texting. Stop dating you.

It all boils down to consistency. Men lack the desire to be consistent once they get the cookies.

consistency

or consistence [kuh n-sis-tuh n-see]

noun, plural consistencies.

 

steadfast adherence to the same principles, course, form, etc.:

Example:  There is consistency in his pattern of behavior.

So, do you get it ladies? Some men aren’t smart enough to continue the same behavior that they did in order to get you. They are unable to stay the course and keep up the wooing.  It takes too much effort.  Blame it on a short attention span or the fact that they just weren’t that in to you or Venus in retrograde. Heck, I don’t know, but the truth of the matter is that men are inconsistent. They change their minds.  It doesn’t matter when you give up the cookies immediately or make them wait 90 or more days the fact remains the same…men change after getting the cookies.

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Now, I’m not a genius (okay, I’m pretty close) when it comes to dating, but I have to ask why would a man not keep the same behavior after getting the cookies? Is it that they believe that they are so desirable that you will just keep wanting them sexually or is it that they are sleeping with multiple women? Probably a little bit of both.

Truth hurts huh?

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However, for those women who claim that they want to date and just have sex, bravo. Your body and your choice. But, what happens when you start off wanting that and somehow your feelings change? What do you do then? Do you enter into a friends with benefits situation or break it off and start over?

It depends. I’ve tried both situations at one point in my life and both situations proved to be emotionally draining. Why? Let’s take a look at both situations individually.

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Friends with Benefits

For me a friend with benefits is first and foremost a friend. If you are my friend and you were stranded on the side of the road at 3 am would I come and get you? If you are my friend and you needed help to move, could you count on me? If you are my friend and you were hospitalized would I come and visit you?

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If you don’t know the answer to those three questions, then here’s a hint…we’re probably not friends. #truth.

Why? Because friendships take time to nurture and develop. We do this by calling each other. Communicating about our daily lives, dreams or issues. We nurture that friendship by checking in, hanging out and just getting to know each other. If we do that, then you most likely know that I’m your friend and would be able to answer the above questions without hesitation.

The benefits piece of friend with benefits refers to the sexual aspect of the relationship. We really enjoy hanging out and talking on a regular basis that sex became a part of our relationship. We have no expectations of a relationship, but to continue nurturing our current one. We enjoy a mutually beneficial relationship in the bedroom and just like our situation.

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Until it changes. One of us catches feelings. Happens a lot. I’m going to guess that in over 70% of the cases it happens. It happened to me. I caught feelings. I was falling hard for someone who I thought was my friend. We had great conversations, sex, enjoyed hanging out and there was so much laughter that I “knew” we would be great in a relationship. You get where I’m going with this right?

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Nope, it didn’t work out like that. He liked the relationship as it was. He didn’t want a girlfriend or specifically me as his girlfriend. Thus I could either continue in the current situation or walk away. I chose the latter.

Break it Off and Move On

This is probably the best course of action if you want a relationship with someone and they don’t want a relationship with you. This is where I would say to identify your wants and needs up front before engaging in a sexual relationship under the guise that it will develop into something more.

Remember that it rarely does. Don’t fall for the “games” that men may play. Trust me, I’ve heard them all:

  • I promise that I will respect you.
  • We’re adults. We can do what we want.
  • I really like you.
  • I want to take our relationship to the next level.

Those are just a few that are used to seduce and then after the seduction occurs you’re left wondering why they’ve changed. Umm, it’s because they’ve gotten what they want. They have no use or desire to keep up the role of an interested suitor. They will give you lines such as:

  • I’ve been busy which is why I haven’t called you in 3 weeks and calling you now for a sex session.
  • Work is killing me.
  • It’s football season and I got a lot going on.
  • I haven’t changed. What are you talking about?
  • I do call you. I just called you now.
  • I do answer or return your messages

Yeah, he’s really not your friend sweetie. You’ve been played. Been there and done that. Made those same mistakes. Inconsistent men yield consistent results when dating. The foolishness will still be the same whether you’re 30 or 50. If you are in this situation and you want more, just break it off and move on. You deserve better.

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Ah, the joys of dating!