Motivational Monday Moment – 10/3/16

It’s the first Monday in October and I wanted to share a Monday Motivational Moment with you. My moment is perspective. I’ve been dealing with this for the last month. When I talked about KE Garland’s post on releasing expectations and in my interactions with my ex-husband.

perspective

Perspective is how I view things. I know this. You most likely know this. But, what I’m learning is that my perspective is leading me to expect things from people. There in lies the issue. I need to realize that I need to change my perspective which will allow me to release my expectations and stop stressing the heck out.

2016-08-25-1472089505-2264417-perspectives3

How many of you can relate to that? We perceive that we know people and that they know us then why are they reacting a particular way?  Why are they attacking us when they know us? Our attitude is that they are good people therefore we expect them to do things in a certain way. Let’s be real…the right way or the ethical way or just do it our way.

But, they don’t. We get mad. We get frustrated and we start to wonder why even bother. I’m guilty of this. More recently with my ex-husband and our lack of communication. I’m frustrated. I’m hurt by his words and I feel like why do I even bother trying? Isn’t it just a waste of time?

What I’m learning is that it is a waste of time. Whose time? Mine.

the-moment-you-realize-how-important-time-is-your-entire-perspective-will-change-quote-1

I started seeing a therapist last week and I told her what was going on. I told her that I needed help because I can’t go on like this for the next 10 years. I needed some kind of guidance on how to deal with my ex and our co-parenting struggles. I can’t continue down this path.

She listened. I rambled on about my issues. She said you know what the issue is? You need to change your perspective of him. This will allow your expectations of him to change. She explained that by changing my perspective of him will in essence allow me to release my expectations that he will do what I deem is appropriate and fair.

chappatte-bird-flu-2

Ugh! How can I do this? What medicine can assist this? How long will it take? She laughed. It will take some time. It won’t be easy. There is no medicine. But, you can do it. When you do it you will realize that you were the one causing your own headache. I sighed.

However, I know she’s right. Niki over at The Richness of a Simple Life has been helping me with trying to change Munch’s perception to focus on good things and not just the bad things. Making him be a more positive kid. Dang! I didn’t think that I had that problem too.

2012-10-09-santa-clarita-news-z1-1-changing-perspective

I speak of good things. Quite frequently too. It’s just that I need to work on my perception of situations and people. My therapist said that my ex has probably been the same person all these years but I figured that after being together and married and now divorced that he would behave a certain way. Umm, yeah? But, she said that I’m expecting him to do things that I think are in line with our morals, but I need to stop that.

I’m driving my own self crazy. Perceive him as an ex husband. Not a friend. Not a foe. A business relationship. Expect nothing. Share information. No frustration. She said it will become easier when you change your perception of him. It doesn’t mean that he’s a bad person. He is who he is but I perceived him to be something he’s not. There in lies my struggle.

I’m causing my own pain.

waynedyerchangequote

So my loves, if you’re like me and you need to change your perspective about people, I want to encourage you to do so. We can do this together. It won’t be easy. But, remember it is you that is causing your own stress. Let’s try to stop this.

Be the change we want to see.

Advertisements

Education Chronicles: First Day of School

It’s that time again and munch is headed to first grade. I’m not as weepy and depressed as I was last year. (I cried for almost a month). I have assimilated into being one of those annoying parents who can’t wait for school to start because I’ve run out of ideas, activities or money for the rest of the summer. I loved his teacher last year and I’m hoping that I will love his new teacher. By all accounts, the parents that have had her said she is compassionate, a great teacher, but really serious and never laughs. Ahem, I will make sure not to break out my comedy routine during our parent/teacher conferences. LOL.

So, I decided to share some “Lessons Learned” for parents who are releasing their children into kindergarten for the first time ever or for those who are enrolling their children in an immersion program.

▪ It’s okay to cry the first day of school AFTER you drop the child off and they can’t see you. Be strong and know that they will be fine. Your reaction is what they will emulate. Play it cool and fist bump them out the door when you drop them at their classroom.

▪ Read all paperwork daily and sign the daily or weekly progress card from the teacher. Teachers don’t just fill out paperwork for their health. They truly want you to know what’s going on with your child and in the classroom. They are only one leg of the education stool.

▪ Buy school supplies. I am adamant about being able to purchase the things that my son needs for school. I hate when teachers have to spend their own money for school supplies or beg the parents to please purchase paper, crayons or pencils. Go to the dollar store. It’s not the cost of the item, just the fact that children should have them. If you can’t afford them, please look in your local newspaper to find out about organizations that do Back-to-School drives. A lot of the bags include school supplies.

▪ Talk to the teacher and get their contact information. Find out what their philosophy is on education and what they expect from both the students and parents.

▪ Attend back to school night and all parent/teacher conferences. Make time to show up and be present in your child’s educational activities.

▪ If they are in an immersion program and you don’t speak the language…Relax! Understand that it is a process and your child will get it. One thing I realized is that the school is teaching munch to read in French and I needed to teach him how to read in English, so this summer we spent time reading books. He’s not completely reading on his own, but he can read a lot of words and sounds out those he doesn’t know. He also asks questions for difficult words.

▪ Reinforce what is learned in class. Math skills, reading, science or PE. Spend time reinforcing the lessons learned.

I think that’s it, but if you think of some other things, please feel free to add them to the comments. Also, check out some of these great first grade photos of my love.

image

image