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Finding the Beauty in Broken Things

This was one of the topics my therapist and I discussed a couple of weeks ago. She was telling me that I needed to find the beauty in the broken things and stop being so pessimistic. I couldn’t help it. I literally felt like everything around me was falling apart and that life was dragging me along.

I felt alone.

I know you’re probably thinking, “T, how can you be alone if you have this great guy that you love and adore and is good to you?” Easy – he’s not always there. We don’t live together so sometimes I am the one fighting for his attention when he has many other things going on. Not that I’m jealous. He takes care of a lot of people. I know that. I support that. But…

Sometimes my mind makes me believe that there is no one when I’m going through the storm. I can sit there and call my top five people and they are all busy. They will usually call back, but in the middle of my self-imposed crisis, I feel like I’m drowning. In the ocean with no raft.

That’s when my therapist told me that I needed to change my mindset. That I was being consumed by the negative and I needed to see the beauty in the broken things. She was explaining how there is a Japanese art form called kintsugi that uses gold to fill in the broken pieces of bowls. “The Japanese art of kintsugi teaches that broken objects are not something to hide but to display with pride.” – Steffano Carnazzi , LifeGate

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That’s what she wanted me to remember that life may seem broken and I may get overwhelmed, but I need to sit back and see the beauty of all that is around me. There is beauty within me no matter what. She said you’re like that bowl.

She said that I need to stop being overwhelmed by the issues/situations that are affecting me and celebrate some of my successes. So, I’m doing that. Here are three success that I’m sharing with you today:

  • I’m a TODAY Parenting team contributor. I’m truly excited about this. Baby steps.
  • I wrote two grants for my son’s school last year that were approved and will be funded. Pretty cool huh?
  • I pitched two pieces last week and I’m hoping that they will be picked up. Hey, the worst they can say is no, right?

That’s about it. I know that I have a lot of people praying for me and Munch and I truly am grateful. I just need to change my attitude and start counting my successes more than my failures. There are a lot out there and I’m just in awe of God’s grace.

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Note: I do not own the rights to these photos. A Google search showed on kintsugi images showed them.

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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A White Horse Moment

My therapist is hilarious. She’s actually the best therapist that I’ve ever had. What I like about her is that she is both a pastor and a therapist and gives it to you straight. I realized that I needed straight talk. I needed someone who questioned me, shared with me and helped me to see where I can change things and where I can’t.

Last week we met and we were talking about Mr. C and how he did a prince move. You know the prince riding up on the white horse kinda move and I was so in awe of him. Let me tell you what happened.

I have a push button start car and my key FOB had a low battery indicator warning on my dash board that showed every time I started the car. The picture showed a battery 3/4 full so I figured I had a minute before I needed to replace it.

Apparently, that wasn’t the case.

I got up at the crack of dawn and dressed my son in warm clothes as it was 20 degrees outside to head to the hair salon. He was cold. He was tired. He was cranky.

We get to the salon and get out of the car and I tried to lock my car. Umm, nothing. No such luck.

I kept pressing the fob and nothing happened. I even went to the door handle and tried to lock it manually and it still wouldn’t lock. I got in the car and tried to start it up. Nothing. It was as though the key FOB wasn’t recognized. I started to panic.

I knew Mr. C was up. He had to go deliver some wood to his parents for their fireplace (yeah, that’s one of the things I love about him) and he pretty much is an early riser every day of the week. I called him and told him what happened.

He asked where I was. I told him that I was at the hair salon but would be trapped because my car wouldn’t start with no battery in the key FOB. He asked how long I would be there and I told him a couple of hours. He said he’d call me back.

I went about getting my hair washed and styled and sitting under the dryer. Panic started to set in. I was afraid that he would forget about me and my Munch and us being here and wondered if I could call my best friends to help me.

I sent a quick text to my best friend Nikki asking if she was up. Mr. C called right after I sent the text. He asked me to send him the address of the hair salon and he would be on his way. Nikki called while we were on the phone. I didn’t click over.

An hour later, he walked in the door. My hero. I was so happy to see him. Munch yelled out to everyone in the salon “That’s my mommy’s boyfriend”. He smiled and said “What’s up Brennan?” My heart was brimming.

He had brought the battery for my key FOB and put it in. He walked outside to make sure that everything worked fine. I was overwhelmed by that little act of kindness.

Why? Because there are only two people that I trust to be there for me. My two best friends. They packed up my house and helped me move. They have always had my back. So, it is kind of hard for me to trust people.

I get disappointed easily. I hate disappointments. So, I rely on those who I know that I can trust. I can trust Mr. C.

That thought only brought tears to my eyes…I could trust him.

This was big for me. I shared it with him. It meant that I was letting him in. Moving down walls and trusting that he would take care of me. That he would always be there for me and my son.

I was changing.