Many people find it strange that Mr. C and I are practicing abstinence. I’ve heard more than one person ask “So, you’re making him wait?” It really seems to confuse some people. I’m not sure why, but it is funny as hell to Mr. C and I.
Why is it that you view waiting as a bad thing? Am I really making him wait? What is the big deal? These are all the questions that run through my head when I hear someone ask the question of why I’m making him wait. I want to clear up some questions that people may have about us and practicing abstinence.
- I’m not making him wait. He’s choosing to wait to respect the will of God over and through my life. It’s his choice. I’m not forcing him. I’m not holding a gun to his head. I’m not promising him a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. LOL, not yet. He’s a grown man who makes his own decisions so he is choosing to wait.
- It’s hard. Some days are better than others, but we are in no rush for marriage, so no rush to the bedroom. I hear it gets easier, but I have no point of reference to compare it too since this is a first for me. We are not laying up in each other’s house hanging in the bedroom all night, so that takes away the idea of sexing each other up. We spend time watching TV or going out. No hanging around in the bedroom.
- It’s allowing us to truly get to know each other. Let me tell you that even though I’ve known Mr. C for almost 2 years we’re still learning each other. It’s a lot to learn about someone and to really get to know them enough to take their last name. We are truly committed to finding out about each other without making sex the deciding factor that blinds us about each other’s faults.
- I don’t care if the sex is bad. Yep, I said it. People have always asked me “What if the sex is bad?” I don’t care. I’m older now and I realize that sex is overrated. Good, but overrated. I’m not that concerned whether or not he can lay the pipe right. With age comes wisdom. I’m older and I would enjoy sex with my husband. Hell, we’ll figure it out in the bedroom. Having someone rub my feet, give me a massage and just have my back matters more than if he’s banging in the bedroom.
- He respects my boundaries. Mr. C and I have traveled out of town and slept in the same room and nothing has happened. He’s a gentleman that respects me. He’s not using this time to get to know each other outside of our zip code as a chance to jump my bones. He respects the love and relationship we have and just doesn’t try it. The key to being on the same level is making sure that your partner respects your boundaries.
That’s it. No big secret. No kind of witchery is being used. I’ve just been blessed to meet a wonderful man that sees me for who I am and for what I want and just respects that. I’m not making him wait. He’s choosing to wait.
Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.
A Thomas Point of View 
It is a good thing to wait, especially when you are clearly in the will of God. You have our supports here.
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Thanks Victor! It’s weird that people think of it as a bad thing in this day and age. I’m not trying to reinvent the wheel, but when I asked God to bridle my lust, I was serious.
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I’m so proud of you for making the decision to wait because you are considering God ‘s will. I know why people are surprised. We live in a world where people are concerned about ‘me first ‘. The concept of not fulfilling your desires when you are able to is a foreign concept to many. Hats off to you. And more importantly, I’m sure you are making Him happy. And you’re building a great foundation for the future
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Thank you so much. I am just amazed by people making it a big deal. We’re choosing to honor God. God always win.
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I think it is wonderful that you both have chosen to wait. I have been married many years and trust me, I am still learning about my husband and he, me. Sex is great, but it is not everything. 🙂
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Preach Lynne. Sex is great, but the older you get you realize that value other things outside of sex. If you have a man that loves and respects you, why would you put all the stock in his bedroom skills. As Egypt said “Practice makes perfect” and we are trying to practice in marriage.
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So blessed to read your post, honoring God in obedience to His Word is always the path of blessing!
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Thank you so much. Yep, when I just asked God to send me someone and bridle my lust when he sent me Mr. C I knew that it was from God and Mr. C is a grown man that is choosing to honor the will of God in and through my life by not trying to push up on me for sex.
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Amen! Praise God! A woman who findeth a man with a heart for God, has found a great blessing! A man who finds it hard to be faithful to God will find it hard to be faithful to you. Faithfulness, honor, and respect is grounded in Christ! 🙂 🙂 🙂
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Preach. So true.
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Sissssssssssss! Yes, just yes! I love this, so so so much. Getting to know someone as best as you can before knocking boots and conjuring love and commitment first should always be priority—what good is a good sex with no chemistry or intimacy. As for bad at sex! no one is born being good at sex, practice makes perfect and it’s a team effort *preaching to the choir of at least four X-D.* Yet, it just baffles me that abstinence is such monkey wrench. #rantover♥♥♥
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Thanks sis. Yep, it’s hilarious. People seem to not be able to fathom that we are trying to build a genuine connection and that he is choosing to wait because he believes that I’m worth it. But, you said it best practice makes perfect and I just want to practice in marriage.
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Indeed you are more than worth it! and I am wishing for y’all all the best of the love and time that I can ♥
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Thanks sis!
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My honor!!!
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Dating clean wins. When you take sex out of the equation you find out very quickly who’s really interested in you and whose just looking to hook up. Happily re-married to a man who was willing to wait. Mr. C sounds like a good man.
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Thank you so much. See, it is not as uncommon as people think. I love that. Thanks for sharing.
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I definitely respect that. Obviously, my main reason for abstaining is bc the Lord says so. Have I been perfect there? Nope, but that’s my sinful side. It seems that you’ve found a blessing in Mr. C. I’m happy for you!
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Thanks Matthew.
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Fantastic idea. People blow everything out of proportion! I think when you leave sex out if things, it becomes less complicated because you actually use that time that you may have been having sex to learn new things about one another. Nowadays, people go for sex first and after they’re married realize they’re not meant for each other!
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Girl, so true. People think that sex is the end all be all and no amount of good sex will keep a man faithful or lock him down. Taking your time and getting to know him will allow you to make judgement free decisions.
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Exactly!!!! And he only stays if he wants to!
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May God bless your relationship and I agree sex is overrated
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Thank you. May God bless you as well my friend.
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I definitely respect women like yourself. If there was more people like you in this world, there would be less std’s and unwanted pregnancies in this world.
“hat if the sex is bad?” I don’t care. I’m older now and I realize that sex is overrated. Good, but overrated. ” I love this statement because it shows you are not judgemental. A lot of women(some men as well) many people will judge you off of your sex experience. For the women that do judge you, like on one hand women disapprove of men that just want sex out of them and women call these men dogs, but on the other hand they will call a guy lame boring etc if he’s inexperienced or have a low sex drive. That never made any sense to me. Sex isn’t everything and we all are inexperienced at sex when we first lose our virginity but yet some aren’t patient if their lover aren’t experienced. The world is a judgemental place so I definitely respect your mentality
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Thank you so much. I am just thankful that God sent me a wonderful man that is waiting for me because he loves me. It takes a shift in perspective. I love the man that God designed for me and if sex is “bad”, we’ll figure it out because we’re grown and we love each other. You can’t lose your imagination with sex or with each other in dating and through marriage.
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