This was one of the topics my therapist and I discussed a couple of weeks ago. She was telling me that I needed to find the beauty in the broken things and stop being so pessimistic. I couldn’t help it. I literally felt like everything around me was falling apart and that life was dragging me along.
I felt alone.
I know you’re probably thinking, “T, how can you be alone if you have this great guy that you love and adore and is good to you?” Easy – he’s not always there. We don’t live together so sometimes I am the one fighting for his attention when he has many other things going on. Not that I’m jealous. He takes care of a lot of people. I know that. I support that. But…
Sometimes my mind makes me believe that there is no one when I’m going through the storm. I can sit there and call my top five people and they are all busy. They will usually call back, but in the middle of my self-imposed crisis, I feel like I’m drowning. In the ocean with no raft.
That’s when my therapist told me that I needed to change my mindset. That I was being consumed by the negative and I needed to see the beauty in the broken things. She was explaining how there is a Japanese art form called kintsugi that uses gold to fill in the broken pieces of bowls. “The Japanese art of kintsugi teaches that broken objects are not something to hide but to display with pride.” – Steffano Carnazzi , LifeGate
That’s what she wanted me to remember that life may seem broken and I may get overwhelmed, but I need to sit back and see the beauty of all that is around me. There is beauty within me no matter what. She said you’re like that bowl.
She said that I need to stop being overwhelmed by the issues/situations that are affecting me and celebrate some of my successes. So, I’m doing that. Here are three success that I’m sharing with you today:
- I’m a TODAY Parenting team contributor. I’m truly excited about this. Baby steps.
- I wrote two grants for my son’s school last year that were approved and will be funded. Pretty cool huh?
- I pitched two pieces last week and I’m hoping that they will be picked up. Hey, the worst they can say is no, right?
That’s about it. I know that I have a lot of people praying for me and Munch and I truly am grateful. I just need to change my attitude and start counting my successes more than my failures. There are a lot out there and I’m just in awe of God’s grace.
Note: I do not own the rights to these photos. A Google search showed on kintsugi images showed them.
Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.
In response to Sascha’ Black’s It’s All In the Title – #Writespiration 86 post, I thought it would be fun to participate in this challenge. The challenge was to choose a title from the list and create a story in less than 200 words. Whew! This was difficult. I have written 197. Ya’ll know I’m long winded right? I did it. So, let me know what you think.
She stood looking at herself in the floor length mirror. Strange. She never thought herself pretty. Just different. Motherhood had changed her body and she didn’t feel the same. She had become different after the last baby. Rounder and wider. The thick thighs that rubbed together when she walked showed cellulite. Her stomach was oddly shaped from the pregnancy weight gain and the fat pre-baby.
She slowly lifted her arms above her head and began to flap them like a bird. “Yeah” she sighed. “I have wings of fat” she muttered. She stared at her breasts that hung to her stomach. They were no longer perky. Time had changed her body. She murmured “I’m 45. This is what happens right?” She turned away in disappointment.
David walked in the room. “Hey beautiful” he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her. “Babe, do you know after 15 years of marriage and four beautiful children I still find you irresistible?”
She smiled. “You do?”
“Yes” he said as he slowly kissed her neck. “You’re the epitome of beauty. My soul settles in your spirit each day I open my eyes and see you. You amaze me my love.”
If you want to participate in the challenge you have until April 17th to do so. So, get to writing folks!
Let’s cut to the chase. Looks matter. You have to have some attraction to a person to even remotely want to interact with them in a non-professional setting. That being said, it is not at the top five things in my “must have” category in relationships.
But, you must have something to lure your bait right? Why? Because you’re fishing for interaction from the opposite sex. You want someone to respond to you so that you can try to charm them and get to know them. However, you have to know what cards to play.
Don’t play the card “I got money.” That is the worse thing you can do. No one knows if you have money or you’re playing at having money. Gold diggers care if you have money from your pictures. Not professional women. It makes you seem shallow. You should focus on your positives or find something that will allow someone to interact with you. Make them want to get to know you. Make them engage with you.
Remember the introduction post? Your introduction has to be strong or people won’t bother responding. How can you be mad if you say “Hello” and someone responds back “Hello”? You need to work on crafting a witty and engaging introduction to someone you find attractive.
Now, here’s where I pause to say that I hate when men comment on my beauty. Not that I think I’m unattractive or a supermodel, but I want you to engage me for something you find interesting about my personality. Not my looks. But, I’ve been told multiple times that men are hunters and they find attractive women to pursue. This is why I get the comments of “Hey Sexy”, “Hey Beautiful” or “Hey Gorgeous”.
I get it now. I’ve accepted it. I thank them for the compliment and I appreciate the interest. However, what if you’re not attractive? I think most people are aware what people like about them. They know in their 40’s what are their good qualities. What is it about them that people find interesting? Use that when doing on-line dating. Bring out what others find attractive about you.
Using what you find to be attractive about you will allow me to see if there is interest. What is it about you that draws me in? Your introduction, your dress, your smile or your profile? If you have none of these items, I have to tell you that I won’t respond. Not at all. Even with you sending me a photo sitting on a car.
On to the next one !
Until next time!