Day 14: Lessons Learned

I am human. I will make mistakes. We all will. But, I’m thankful for the lessons learned. In all that I do, I try to see what the lesson is that I was supposed to learn. Many times I discover it and I’m thankful for it.

That’s what life is about. Learning lessons. Learning in spite of your trials and tribulations. Learning through your pain. It’s hard. I know. I’ve been there.

But, there is always a lesson and it will get better. No matter what you are going through there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You may not be able to see it but it is there. When you get to the end, make sure you share your story because someone else may benefit from your story of triumph.

Be a blessing to others and learn the lesson that you were supposed to learn. It’s day 14 and I’m thankful for lessons learned in my #23daysofthankfulness.

lessons-learned-chalkboard

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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You Have The Power

I wanted to share a #WednesdayWisdom message with you. My message is simply:

You Have The Power

You have the power to determine the path that your life will take. You have the power to engage in foolishness and you have the power to disengage from it as well. A lot of times we feel helpless in the sense that we feel we must do what society believes we should do and what we truly want to do. Do you boo.

You have the power to decide what the path is that you want to take. No one else can or should decide it for you. Don’t let people tell you that you have to do something you just don’t want to do. Let me give you some examples.

Example 1: I’m a firm believer in not wasting my time. Time is something I can never get back. I don’t like wasting my time. Time is more valuable to me than money. You can always earn back money, but you can’t get time once it is wasted. One of the things that I do to make sure that I don’t waste time is to create a mental check list of what things are working for me and what things aren’t. I then decide whether or not I will continue to engage in those things that aren’t yielding results or move on. The result: I’ve moved on a lot in the last few years.

Example 2: Not responding. I used to believe that everything required a response. If you said something out of your mouth to me sideways, I had to respond. If you wrote me an email with some BS, I had to respond. If you said something about me behind my back, I had to respond. You see the issue right? I was always responding. Feeling the need to defend myself, character or actions. Nope, not anymore. With age comes wisdom.  The result: I don’t respond. My ignore game is strong.

Example 3: You should be nice to people that have wronged you. Nope! Not at all. Wait one minute. Why would you be nice to someone who mistreats you? Who told you that you should keep killing them with kindness? Probably your nice relatives right? Grandma, mom or Aunt Susie Mae? I don’t subscribe to this philosophy anymore. It has negative consequences for you. Your health matters. You matter. If someone is treating you like crap, why would you keep being nice to them, being the bigger person, extending an olive branch or even speaking to them? I’m not suggesting be mean. On the contrary. I’m speaking about protecting you and putting your needs first. The result: Like Cardi B sings in her new song Bodak Yellow: “If I see you and I don’t speak – That means I don’t f*ck with you” The result: I no longer feel obligated to be nice to those that have hurt me. I don’t speak. I don’t engage. I speak when I need and/or want too.

I’m all about encouraging you to live the best possible life. You can’t live that life if you are falling victim to societal norms and expectations about how you should behave when people mistreat you. You have to choose you. You have to take back the power. Turn the other cheek and keep it moving. Don’t waste your time, your response or your voice. Choose you.

Stay strong loves!

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

6 Blogging Lessons

We are community of bloggers who write and hope that people will read our stuff right? That people will engage and want to share our material, right? Good. So, I wanted to share my 6 blogging lessons.

  1. Do Unto Others What You Would Want Done to You – The golden rule. You want to make sure that you are writing quality material on your own. Don’t plagiarize or steal someone’s stuff. Don’t have a blog set-up with no original content and then just share everyone’s stuff. I understand you are probably sharing things you enjoy, but take the time to write a couple of quality pieces on your own. Post memes or whatever, but let other bloggers know who you are so an interaction can begin. If bloggers share your work, thank them. Whether it be a tweet or a reblog, please acknowledge that.
  2. Open Link in a New Window – This is the most basic blogging lesson that I have to share it. When you are linking to a prior post, someone else’s site, etc. Please click that little box that says “Open Link in a New Window”. That allows me to see what you’re sharing but be able to like and comment on your post. I can’t tell you how many times that I’ve clicked on a post to be directed to something new and forgot to go back and click on your page to like or comment. You lose me with that one and I assume that I’m not the only one you’re losing.
  3. Schedule Posts – Many people ask me how I do it all. How do you comment, read and write while working a full-time job? It’s tough. I try to plan out as many posts as I can for the next 7 days. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. However, the lesson learned is that you have to plan out your topics. Think about things you want to share and schedule them around peak times. Check your peak times (when most bloggers view your blog) and try to schedule around that time. It may drive more viewers to your blog. Don’t be afraid to write things out. I journal a lot of thoughts and try to develop them as I’m writing and working. It helps.
  4. Don’t get frustrated – We all hit a writer’s block. Too many thoughts and nothing in particular that we want to write about. It happens. Maybe you’re in a funk and you figure no one cares. We do. Write about what matters to you. We are a village and sometimes your post will inspire and encourage someone. Blogging isn’t an overnight success business. Your numbers will fluctuate. You will feel like you’re not growing at the pace you should. What pace is that? Everyone’s journey is different. Write what matters and adjust as you need. There is no overnight success.
  5. Don’t do a follow for follow – I get it…you’re new. You want to grow your base. However, don’t harass bloggers into following you. Let the relationship grow naturally. If they read your posts, engage with you many times people will follow you. They see you’re genuine and want to like and interact with you. If they don’t do it…no worries. Nothing is promised. Choose to follow them or not, but don’t guilt or harass them into following you.
  6. Read Other Bloggers – When you are blogging, working full-time, going to school, have children, etc or a life,  it gets frustrating because you don’t have enough time in the day to get everything done. I get it. But, you have to be committed to those that are committed to you. You have to read the work of others and comment. I like a lot of posts. I will share posts on my Facebook page and many of you may not know it. I tweet great reads. I stay connected. Me liking your page means that I’ve read what you said. Trust me…I will not like everything and that is okay too. You don’t have to like everything someone writes.

Well, those are my 6 lessons learned in blogging. Anything else you want to share? Anything I’ve missed?

 

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Change is Good

Last week I read Michelle Malone’s post where she said “Today I challenge you to seek, identify, and track the signs of change in your life rather than ignoring them.” I was inspired. Inspired to do what? To do what she suggested – seek, identify and track the signs of change in your life.

Here’s what I discovered about myself when I set about the challenge. I learned that when I seek ways to change, I actually allow myself to grow. Grow because I realized that I’m never too old to learn and that it’s okay if I change my mind. I’m a woman and I can change my mind as many times as I want. LOL.  That being said. I wanted to share 5 things with you that I learned this last week about myself.

5 Signs that I’m Changing:

  1. Forgiveness. This was a hard one for me, but I’m actually thankful that I’m able to forgive my dad and spend time with him. When I was home last week I took him to lunch, gave him a birthday card with some money and took care of some of his wants. Forgiveness of all the years of pain and absence allowed me the ability to do this. That’s growth.
  2. Listen more. Speak less. Some would argue that I don’t do that, but I promise you that I am doing that. I’m learning that in order to communicate that I need to spend more time listening and truly hearing what is being said. I’m also learning that not everything deserves a response. Sometimes more can be conquered when you don’t respond at all.
  3. Accepting others at face value. I have little faith in humanity. I’ve seen too much. I’ve experienced too much, but I’m learning that I need to trust more. To love more. To believe more. To try and see the good in others up front and accept what they say at face value. At least until they disappoint me. But, learning to have a discerning spirit is important and not trying to just see the bad in people has allowed me to grow and change.
  4. Advise when needed. I’m learning that just because someone comes to you with an issue doesn’t mean that they want you to respond and advise them of what they should do. I admit that I do that all the time. I am learning to advise only when requested and then apply #2.
  5. Spend time freely. As I’ve aged I realized that I do need to spend quality time with my family and friends. I have brunches, lunches and dinners with friends and take trips home to Tennessee to visit my dad and extended family. This is important because it gives Munch and I time to reconnect. I can’t get so consumed with the day to day that I neglect the folks who haven’t seen me.

There is another way that I just realized that I’m changing and I will share that with you later because it is important. It was my Aha! moment. I’ve learned a lot about myself and how I operate and all I can say is that I am a work I progress.  I’m still seeking ways to acknowledge my changes becaue it shows that I’m growing. Have you sought, identified and/or tracked your changes?

On the 6th Day of Christmas

What I received this year…

A forgiving spirit – Let me tell you how many times I’ve held on to the wrongs that people have done to me. I will cut people from my life with a quickness but I never forget the hurt. It takes years. I still feel pain if it is was someone who I was truly close to. But, I realized that there is a time for everything and I have to accept that some people will play major roles during minor times and others will play minor roles during major times and that is okay. It’s seasonal. I need to forgive those that I feel should have stepped up and had my back or just been there for me.

But, I didn’t. I would hold on to that pain. I received a forgiving spirit. I needed to forgive people who had wronged me but more importantly I needed to forgive myself for thinking that I could have done more for them to still be in my life. I learned that it is okay to just let go and be satisfied that it is for the best. A forgiving spirit is a beautiful thing.

spirit scinece quotes

On The 10th Day of Christmas

What I received this year…

Joy – Unspeakable joy. Sometimes I’ve been in the midst of trying situations and I couldn’t do nothing but fall on my knees and pray. My prayers are sinners prayers, “God, why me?” but I tell you that joy I have when I know that I am not forgotten is immeasurable. When I think about the goodness in what he’s given me I just can’t do anything but say Thank You. No, my life isn’t all sunshine and roses, but that joy that I have knowing that I have a God who reminds me that he is in all things helps me to appreciate my blessings a little more.

joy-is-the-holy-fire-that-keeps-our-purpose-warm-and-our-intelligence-aglow-joy-quote

5 Things I Want My Six Year Old to Know

Parenting is hard. Let me say it again…parenting is hard. Add working and being a co-parent and you realize that some things will slip through the crack. You know things that you wish you could teach your child. I realized that when Brennan was with me last week. His dad and I have a week on/week off co-parenting schedule and I am happy to say that my son has adjusted to this schedule like a champ.

But, I can speak from personal experience and say that I will forget things. His dad will forget things. Will Brennan think the worst of us because we forget to teach him something or will he have loved what we tried to do as his parents? I’m not sure, but here are five things that I want my son to know now:

  1. Knock. Always knock on a closed door. Whether it is in our house, your dad’s house or your aunt’s house always remember to knock on a closed door. I would hate for you to see a relative naked because you hate sleeping through the night. You have to get up at least twice to make sure that the adults know that you are still alive and breathing. That’s awesome munch! I promise you that if you actually sleep through the night you will wake up the next morning and I won’t need two cups of coffee to function.
  2. Parents get sad too. I’m sorry that you had to watch me cry when your dad and I separated. I’m sorry you had to step up to the plate and hold my head and comfort me. I wish I could go back and press rewind and spare you from the melodrama of my life. I tried to be a really good mom and shield you, but sometimes the loads I’m carrying are too much for me. I will get sad. I will cry and I will lie in bed all day saying my head hurts because I’m emotionally drained. You did nothing wrong. You are a joy and I just wish that you could always see me happy and smiling, but that’s not realistic.
  3. Parents make mistakes. I will be so hard on you sometimes that you will wonder what you did, but understand that I mean no harm. I am constantly juggling how to make you grow up a happy, healthy and functioning child of divorced parents that I will make mistakes. Like the time I told your dad that I can’t do everything and that I needed him to do something. I told him that I would teach you how to read and he could teach you how to tie your shoe. You’re 6 munch and I realize that Velcro shoes may be it for a while. Shoe tying is not all that important.
  4. You will be a jerk to a woman. It’s normal. Some men may think it is a rite of passage. But, you will know the power in an apology and you will remember that honesty is the best policy. Don’t string a woman along pretending that you like her and you don’t just so she will give in to your advances. Always be a gentleman. Be respectful and be of good character. Trust me if you don’t you will reap the cycle of your errors with your daughters.
  5. Put it in perspective. Things change. Life doesn’t always work out the way we want it too and sometimes we fail. We fail at marriages, jobs, relationships, school, etc. The thing that I need you to remember is that no matter how many times you fall, you need to get up and rise. Keep putting your best foot forward. Don’t let the circumstances of your life defeat you that you find no energy to try to succeed. You were born for greatness.

I want you to remember one thing munch… I vow to be the best mom that I can to you. I promise to put you first in all that I think or want to do because you matter more to me than anything. You encourage me to be better each day just by existing. Like last week when we were at dinner and I said, “Munch, mommy forgot to put on her watch and earrings.” You looked at me with the most sincere expression and said, “Don’t worry mommy, you’re still beautiful.” Don’t ever change.

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