Motivational Monday Moment – 08.07.17

Happy Monday Everyone!

Sorry for the delay in posting the Motivational Monday Moment. I didn’t have it scheduled for today and I didn’t know what to talk about. It’s a rainy Monday morning and Munch is with me this week. This means that I will be working late because I have to take him to camp in the mornings and my mom will pick him up from camp in the afternoon.

I had no clue how to motivate you today, but it hit me. When I was in the car driving being annoyed at the rain, feeling uncertain about Munch’s angst at going to a new camp, I realized I was struggling. It came to me that I would talk to you about attitude.

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See, I was upset that it was raining and I hate driving in the rain. Mainly because others can’t drive. I hate that I’m exhausted because I had a combined total of maybe 12 hours of sleep this weekend and my Munch was going to a new camp and feeling unsure about himself. I was struggling.

I needed to change my attitude. My attitude needed to be better so Munch could see that despite circumstances and changes in our schedule that we are blessed. Our attitude should be reflective of our spirit. Our spirit is filled with thankfulness. I was the adult so I had to show that to Munch.

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I started by saying, “Wow, it’s a rainy day Munch don’t forget to grab your rain coat.” He did. We got in the car and I said “Let’s thank God for rain because the grass and tress need it.” He smiled. I said “When I was little there were all kinds of stories of why it rained. Some would say that God was crying because we weren’t remembering how to be good people.” I reminded him that we don’t have that problem because we thank Him for everything. We are kind to people.

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I didn’t rush in the rain. I was extra cautious choosing to be positive despite the number of people on the road going 2 miles per hour. Munch began telling me about the Hermit Crab and how it’s not an insect (he’s such a genius). We pulled up in front of the new school where he was going to camp and he said “Wow, that’s a big school. Why is it named after Martin Luther King Jr.?” “Not sure baby. School districts name the schools that they build” I replied.

We got out of the car and walked into the school and headed to the gym where the campers were gathered. Munch held me tighter. I said “It’s only a week Munch and next week begins art camp.” I hugged him and smiled. He entered and saw a counselor from his last camp and said “Mr. Christian, hi. I was over at the other camp. You’re here too?” The counselor smiled and said “Yep, buddy. Good morning. I’m going to be here with you.” Munch smiled.

He relaxed. I relaxed. He was going to be fine.

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A lot of times our attitude about a situation whether it be fear, anger or distress really affects how we feel about things and in turn the day. Our day starts off on the wrong foot. But, it’s not our day that’s the problem. It’s our attitude about the things that we are going through that makes the day seem like hell.

Yes, I hate rainy days because of bad drivers, but I am blessed. Yes, Munch was scared of going to a new camp today, but he recognized one of the counselors from his last camp and relaxed. That’s all we need to do. Relax about things that seem overwhelming. Breathe through the uncertainty and know that it will be okay.

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By shifting our focus on the positive we are able to smile and relax through the rough periods. They will not break you. They may shake up things in your life, but your attitude about the shake-up needs to stay positive. No weapons formed against you shall prosper. So, what are you worried about?

You got this.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY MOMENT – 7.10.17

Today’s Motivational Monday Moment is about acceptance. Recently, I’ve been asked why I seem so calm about things. I realized that I had changed my attitude and moved from complaining, fear and stressing about my situations and focusing on the acceptance of the choices that I have to make. It was hard. I wasn’t used to this.

But, with acceptance comes peace. You are allowing yourself the opportunity to just accept the way things are and trust that it will be the way it will be. I honestly have to tell you that this works well in my meditation and mindfulness practice. I am not struggling against what things will be. I am adjusting my attitude to accept that I will be okay.

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It’s hard folks. It’s not easy to try and accept things they way they are, but trust me it is freeing.  Think about the failed relationships you’ve had with parents, friends, spouses and/or significant others. Have you tried to get over their wrongs that you felt were caused to you? Did you see value in forgiveness?

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Probably.

But, when they did something else to you it made you mad again right? You realized that they are the same way and they will never change. You get fed up. You get disgusted. You wonder why did you ever trust them again. You doubt you. But, stop it.

There is no need to doubt you. You need to stop expecting anything and just accept the way things are. The way they are. It’s freeing.

That’s where I’m at. You’ve probably known this for a while. But, if not and you’re just like me…let’s stand where we are and just accept.

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We need to have faith that what will be will be. No need to worry about things or people that aren’t conforming. We have to change. We have to change our mindset and realize that we can’t control or change anyone. Just accept things and people where they are.

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Acceptance isn’t a bad thing. It’s an understanding of the things that are surrounding you. Not accepting things and people for who they are means that you are expecting them to be some way. I now get what my best friend Nikki says “You need to stop expecting people to be anything.” I do.

I did.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Motivational Monday Moment – 6.26.17

Today’s Motivational Monday Moment is about stillness. Remembering to be still. It’s a continuation of the theme that I’ve been exploring all month long with remembering to find your own peace, practicing mindfulness and not believing your haters. The final motivational moment is about learning to be still when the storms of life are raging all around you.

Let’s face it…We’re all busy. Some more than others and we are rushing and going everywhere and nowhere. We never have time for ourselves. We feel like we must do or have to do things all the time or they won’t get done. I know. I’m one of those people.

In the hustle and bustle of life we have to remember that there is strength in the stillness. Sometimes you have to be still. You have to slow down and breathe. You have to take care of you. Things will be as they are supposed to be so you can’t run yourself ragged with worrying or trying to fix them.

Think about all the times that you’ve worried about a situation and tried multiple ways to fix it. Did it stress you out? Did you figure it out? Yes? No? If you did figure out what you needed to do, were you so stressed about it that you wondered if it would really work? I have.

Being still allows me to stop my mind from worrying and trying to figure everything out. I can’t do it on my own. I know this. You know this. So, why do we try to do it on our own? I am learning to turn off my mind and not worry about things. Being still allows me to stop my mind and thoughts from racing and trying to figure out a solution to every single problem.

I am a control freak. I need to figure out everything and have a solution to many of life’s problems before I can relax. Hilarious, right? What is that old saying “Want to know how to make God laugh? Tell him your plans.” Yep, that’s me. Trying to plan and figure out a solution for everything. But, can I be honest? It’s exhausting.

In this season that I’m in, I am learning to be still and allow God. I’m learning to quiet my thoughts and just trust that God is still God and whatever will be will be. Why ? Because I trust God. He hasn’t changed. I am the one who needs to be still and allow him to work in and through me. I trust that all things will work according to His will.

Psalm 46:10 The Message (MSG)

8-10 Attention, all! See the marvels of God!
    He plants flowers and trees all over the earth,
Bans war from pole to pole,
    breaks all the weapons across his knee.
“Step out of the traffic! Take a long,
    loving look at me, your High God,
    above politics, above everything.”

 

When you are in a perpetual hell you need to quiet your mind. You need to just be still. My Motivational Monday Moment is about you just doing that. Do nothing. Be still. Be present.

It’s hard being still. You have to quiet your mind. You have to make time to do nothing. I told you how I’m practicing meditation and it’s hard as heck, but I’m trying. I’m trying to live in the present and focus on the here and now. Not stress about the future or the problems that I have. I’m learning to unplug.

This is a big one for me. I started with the weekends. I really don’t read or write posts on the weekend because it is my time. My time for me and my time for my family. I do my best to schedule my posts. I’m also trying to limit my on-line time. Social media is killing me. The politics, the multiple social injustices and the never ending issues with things in my community are stressing me the heck out. Oh, and don’t forget my own personal issues.

I need to be still.

I need to practice stillness.

I need to allow God to be God and quiet my mind. There are too many distractions and I know how easy it is to fall into a trap of self-importance. You know the trap that you can fix everything? You can’t. You’re not that important. And you know what? Neither am I.

Let’s be still.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Motivational Monday Moment – 6/19/17

Today’s Motivational Monday Moment is about not believing the hype spread by your haters. The hype is the fake news or fake information that others try to use against you. Don’t believe it! Have you ever been in a situation where someone has crafted alternative facts to try to make your character seem less than genuine? Whether it be in your workplace or in your personal life, I want to remind you to not believe the hype.

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Life is full of people that will try to use, misuse and talk about you behind your back. Whether it be through social media, emails or your blog they can’t seem to find it in their character to confront you to your face so they punk out and troll you. Have you ever been trolled? It bothered you right? It bothered you that someone was hiding behind a keyboard talking mess about you or some perceived wrong you had done. You may have been afraid. But, fear not my friend.

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Don’t give energy to those things meant to distract you or tarnish your character. You have to ignore it. I know. I know. It is hard sometimes because you feel the need to defend yourself or your character to others, but you don’t have too. See, God knows and sees all. God promises to be with you in battle which is why you are encouraged to put on the full armor of God.

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You can’t let those that are being used for evil destroy you with their words or actions. You just need to walk away and keep the peace. To keep your sanity. You know who you are and whose you are. So many times we want to fight battles that we don’t even need to fight because God will handle it.

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You have to stand strong and don’t let your feelings lead you into catching a case. Ignore those that wish to be manipulative and vindictive pawns in the devil’s army. You are a child of God. He already told you that he gave you power and you don’t need to fight those battles. You just have to remember to not believe the hype. Don’t let your haters bring you down.

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Don’t let the words and/or actions of others put you in a place that is not allowing you to fulfill your purpose. Your purpose is greater than the foolishness around you. When you give thought or energy to those things that don’t align with your purpose then you are being detoured off the path of greatness. Don’t believe the hype!

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Let your dreams manifest regardless of the environment you find yourself in. Believe that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Know that you have the power to speak life into your own situations when it feels like all hope is lost. Remember to stay prayed up and motivated throughout your trials and tribulations.

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Give it to God.

That’s it. That simple. Give it to God.

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My Motivational Monday Moment is reminding you to not believe the hype. You are not what others say about you. You are what you choose to be. Your character can never be questioned by those who know and love you. And when the enemy comes to destroy your peace, remember that this battle is not yours and don’t believe the hype. You are more than the words of your haters!

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Motivational Monday Moment – 6/12/17

Today’s Motivational Monday is about mindfulness. I told ya’ll last week how stressed I’ve been and it is affecting my health. I need to get a grip. I’ve begun to make changes and starting to implement the things my therapist and doctor told me because I don’t want to die. I have too much to live for.

That being said, I started to practice mindfulness. You’re probably wondering…what is mindfulness? T, what are you doing? Is this some hokey pokey weird stuff? No, I assure you it is not. I am just learning to exhibit some self-control over my mind when it comes to the stress that I’m enduring.

mindfulness (n)

  1. the state or quality of being mindful or aware of something.
  2. Psychology.
  1. a technique in which one focuses one’s full attention only on the present, experiencing thoughts, feelings, and sensations but not judging them:  The practice of mindfulness can reduce stress and physical pain.
  2. the mental state maintained by the use of this technique.

So, I’ve been doing breathing exercises and incorporated meditation. About 1 minute of mediation daily. It’s a start. I’m trying to control my mind so that I’m not being consumed by all the negativity.

I’ve also started to track the things that are stressing me out, accept them and move on. This is a big deal for me. Usually I let them sit in my spirit and I’m so angry and ready to cuss. I let the anger sit in my spirit and mind and fester in me all day and I am holding on to it.

I am learning to breathe through it. Refocus and accept that things are not always going to be the way that they should and that’s okay. That’s life. But, I used to feel the need to argue and tell my side of the story and my point of view on things when people talk about me or blatantly lie on me. That is not the case. With mindfulness comes an awareness of self.

I can only control me. That is the only thing that I need to worry about. Giving time and energy to things that don’t yield tangible results would be a waste. I need to focus and redirect my spirit to the present and just keeping positive vibes around me. Negative vibes will destroy the hell out of your mood.

My Motivational Monday Moment is to remind you to be mindful of the energy that you allow around you. Choose only positive energy today. If you can’t do that, then be mindful of the energy that is not in line with your spirit and move to a place of peace and acceptance of that negativity. Don’t let it consume you or destroy the wonderful place you’re cultivating.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Motivational Monday Moment – 3/6/2017

I want to talk about grace today. Grace as a noun means favor or good will. I never really thought much about that word until recently. So, my Motivational Monday Moment is about grace and how it is not the same as forgiveness.

Let me tell you how I discovered that they are not the same…

I went home last month to Tennessee to see my father. It was uneventful, which was good. He’s recovering. He’s not doing what he’s supposed to do. His family is helping him out.

I flew in late Saturday night and drove almost two hours to my grandma’s house. I got lost. The outlets in the rental car didn’t work. I had 10% of cell phone battery left. It was trying. I got in and went to sleep.

Sunday morning I went to church with a friend of mine to hear him preach and later that evening I went to check on my dad. We sat and talked for a couple of hours. It was good. He asked me to take him to McDonald’s and get him something to eat.

So, off we went and he started to talk about how his family mixes things up. How they get information confused. His mom (who is deceased) and/or his siblings. It was random, but he mentioned how the first time he brought his girlfriend Arlene to town from Chicago, people had assumed she was white.

I listened to him talk. I said “I remember Arlene.” He replied “You never met Arlene.” I said, “Yep, I did. It was one year that we happened to be in town and my grandma made us come over to visit your mother. Your family. Funny thing is that she didn’t even tell us you were in town. We found out by visiting. I wanted to walk down the street to the local park with some of my friends. I asked you could I go. You told me to ask Arlene. Why? She wasn’t my mother. She was the first woman that I met and you thought that your girlfriend should give me permission? She wasn’t entitled. You were the parent. I felt disrespected. You didn’t provide support for us. Neither did Arlene. Non-financial people shouldn’t have opinions. Especially not girlfriends.”

He just listened. He changed the subject. He doesn’t remember that I met his first girlfriend outside of my mother. Only that he brought her to Tennessee. I, on the other hand remember everything. I have a long memory.

My memory won’t let me forget the pain inflicted by my father. I’ve tried. Other things happened which I will tell you about later. I didn’t understand. I hadn’t felt bad in a LONG time. What was happening to me? I shouldn’t be feeling the pain of longing for a father who wasn’t there.

I came home the following Tuesday and met with my therapist that week. I told her what happened. She asked me “Why do you go and visit him?” I told her that God told me to forgive him. She inquired whether or not God told me to build a bridge with him? I told her that he only told me to forgive him. She told me “You haven’t forgiven him.” I told her “Yes”. She said “No, you’ve given him grace. You’ve not forgiven him. You have too much residual pain left.” She went on to explain that the pain is both normal and understandable considering the years of abandonment, but she needed me to think about what forgiveness looks like.

I sighed.

For the last four years of my life, I thought I gave forgiveness. I gave grace. They are not the same. The weird thing is that I never knew anyone who gave grace. I thought God was the only one to give grace.

I was wrong. We can give grace. I allowed him to occupy a space in my world after almost 30 years of no relationship by thinking I was doing as God instructed…forgiving. But, now I see I was only giving grace.

I was being graceful by allowing him to be a part of my life. I was thinking that I was forgiving him by letting him spend time with me and dealing with the parts of my life that were painful. The parts that were caused by him and others. But, I wasn’t forgiving him. I haven’t forgiven him.

I’m struggling with this uncovered feeling. I’m trying to process what I need to forgive him. It’s hard. It’s a process and ultimately, I need to both obey God and forgive my father. God forgives. God gives grace.

I am not God.

So, my Motivational Monday Moment is spent somewhere in reflection, thought and understanding of grace and forgiveness. I ask the question, “Have you forgiven or have you given grace?” Let’s focus on both this week.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Monday Notes: 3 Lessons from a BFF Breakup

A great post by KE regarding breakups with your friends.

I usually can’t write about something, unless I’m completely over it. That’s why I have about 6,000 notes related to breaking up with my bff and no posts about it. Ever since June, I’d try to begin…

Source: Monday Notes: 3 Lessons from a BFF Breakup