Parenting is hard. Let me say it again…parenting is hard. Add working and being a co-parent and you realize that some things will slip through the crack. You know things that you wish you could teach your child. I realized that when Brennan was with me last week. His dad and I have a week on/week off co-parenting schedule and I am happy to say that my son has adjusted to this schedule like a champ.
But, I can speak from personal experience and say that I will forget things. His dad will forget things. Will Brennan think the worst of us because we forget to teach him something or will he have loved what we tried to do as his parents? I’m not sure, but here are five things that I want my son to know now:
- Knock. Always knock on a closed door. Whether it is in our house, your dad’s house or your aunt’s house always remember to knock on a closed door. I would hate for you to see a relative naked because you hate sleeping through the night. You have to get up at least twice to make sure that the adults know that you are still alive and breathing. That’s awesome munch! I promise you that if you actually sleep through the night you will wake up the next morning and I won’t need two cups of coffee to function.
- Parents get sad too. I’m sorry that you had to watch me cry when your dad and I separated. I’m sorry you had to step up to the plate and hold my head and comfort me. I wish I could go back and press rewind and spare you from the melodrama of my life. I tried to be a really good mom and shield you, but sometimes the loads I’m carrying are too much for me. I will get sad. I will cry and I will lie in bed all day saying my head hurts because I’m emotionally drained. You did nothing wrong. You are a joy and I just wish that you could always see me happy and smiling, but that’s not realistic.
- Parents make mistakes. I will be so hard on you sometimes that you will wonder what you did, but understand that I mean no harm. I am constantly juggling how to make you grow up a happy, healthy and functioning child of divorced parents that I will make mistakes. Like the time I told your dad that I can’t do everything and that I needed him to do something. I told him that I would teach you how to read and he could teach you how to tie your shoe. You’re 6 munch and I realize that Velcro shoes may be it for a while. Shoe tying is not all that important.
- You will be a jerk to a woman. It’s normal. Some men may think it is a rite of passage. But, you will know the power in an apology and you will remember that honesty is the best policy. Don’t string a woman along pretending that you like her and you don’t just so she will give in to your advances. Always be a gentleman. Be respectful and be of good character. Trust me if you don’t you will reap the cycle of your errors with your daughters.
- Put it in perspective. Things change. Life doesn’t always work out the way we want it too and sometimes we fail. We fail at marriages, jobs, relationships, school, etc. The thing that I need you to remember is that no matter how many times you fall, you need to get up and rise. Keep putting your best foot forward. Don’t let the circumstances of your life defeat you that you find no energy to try to succeed. You were born for greatness.
I want you to remember one thing munch… I vow to be the best mom that I can to you. I promise to put you first in all that I think or want to do because you matter more to me than anything. You encourage me to be better each day just by existing. Like last week when we were at dinner and I said, “Munch, mommy forgot to put on her watch and earrings.” You looked at me with the most sincere expression and said, “Don’t worry mommy, you’re still beautiful.” Don’t ever change.