One of the things that I try to do is be open and honest in my blogging, heck in my life. I tell you the truth. I’m human. I’ve had failures. I’ve had successes. I’ve suffered. I’ve survived. I’ve learned. I’m still learning.
But, is it important that we be open and honest when we write? That we share pieces of our lives, our soul and our truths? Or should we just write what we want whether real or imagined to gain followers? I don’t have the answer to those questions. I think it depends on the type of blogger you want to be.
I chose to be open. It is when I’m open about my life both good and bad that I feel like I can see the growth. That I can see the changes that can and need to take place. Being open allows me to know that whatever the circumstance, it is only temporary. Why? Because look how far I’ve come. My life is a testimony.
A testimony that I readily share with others because you need to know that I’m just like you. Or that I’m different from you and that what I’ve overcome and continue to learn about myself is only the beginning. I’m a work in progress.
When you see me crying, smiling, laughing or just living you need to know that there is a story there. That I have been broken and thought I was dying, but I survived. You can and will too. No matter what the circumstance may be.
I strive to be better each and every day. I know that by sharing my testimony that I am hoping to encourage someone to know that this situation is temporary. You can’t get to better days by not enduring some rough nights. When you endure those painful, gut wrenching and emotional nights…write. Write about the pain. The story needs to be told.
Share your testimony with others. Be the link that they need to grasp onto when they feel like all hope is gone. Minister to their spirit. Preach to their soul. We all have a story. We all have a testimony. Let them see how you overcame. We all can be the change that someone needs.
“You can meet someone and you can sense that your destiny is tied to that person” – Bishop T.D. Jakes from his sermon Nothing Just Happens
Dang! Speechless. Bishop preached on how you occasionally meet someone and you sense that your destiny is tied to that person. Has that ever happened to you? Nope?
It’s okay. You’re still young. It’s scary. But, the sermon was important because it reminded me that nothing in your life just happens. It is in God’s plan. It piggybacks on some things that men of God have said to me about my life. Something my pastor confirmed last year.
Whew! My God! My post may seem all over the place, but I’m telling you that you need to just stand. God will keep you and help you through your circumstance. Stop letting people hold you back, deter your destiny, block your vision or try to coach you on your life. Let it go!
Give it to God and let it go! Your destiny is already written love!
I’m anemic. I’ve been dealing with anemia most of my life, but never to the point that it has gotten as bad as it has now. I’m exhausted (severely fatigued) and barely able to perform my day-to-day tasks. So on Monday, I called my doctor and left a voice mail about the new medication he’s put me on and how it’s affecting my anemia (which has been mild up until this point). The nurse called me back and said the side effects of the medication are normal, but that I need to get on Iron supplements immediately. She said that she would leave a note for the doctor who was making rounds that day and would call me tomorrow. No problem.
On Tuesday, I went to the local CVS to get some supplements ASAP like the nurse said to try to get this constant fatigue under control. I am so tired that it feels like there is not enough hours in the day and I can barely drive the 14 miles to work. I took two pills yesterday and then received an email from my doctor recommending that I get a biopsy and that he’s contacted the scheduling coordinators in the office so that I can get on the schedule. Hold up! What? For real? Why?
No reason mentioned as to why I should go for this invasive procedure when I was told by the nurse that my side effects that are worsening my anemic self are normal. Whose running whom? I was hot. I decided to not respond to his email at this point because I needed to craft a perfect snarky response to send to him.
Here were some of my response choices:
Response #1
Dr. *Blank*:
Have you lost your dang mind? Why in the heck would you send me an email and mention the word biopsy and me getting one? Do you think that is appropriate? Were you sniffing the gas when you did your rounds today? I think you need to call me ASAP because I’m ready to drive over to your office now with my anemic self and demand a face-to-face consultation.
Call me now!
Response #2
Dr. *Blank*:
Umm, I’m gonna take negative on the biopsy for $200. Why? Because you didn’t explain why I would need a biopsy, the risk of said biopsy or even talk to me like I’m an actual breathing patient. I’m getting weak writing this because if you haven’t heard, my anemia is making me pass out.
Call me now man!
Response #3
Dr. *Blank*:
Wow! You were so thoughtful when I was breeding and carrying and actual human being in my womb, but now since I’m not you’re acting like I’m a menopausal “Stepford Wife” with no real opinion. Why would you suggest a biopsy in email and think that I would agree to such an invasive procedure without a phone call or a face-to-face consultation? Don’t you understand that I’m a feminist and even though you were there when I gave birth to my king, women run this world! You would know that if you were paying attention. I can’t talk to you anymore and I would like one of the other women doctors in the practice to call me ASAP because they apparently have graduated medical school and understand my rights as a woman and a human being. I bid you farewell and would like the higher species in the practice to contact me from now on.
As you can see, I was going through it right? But, the gist of the matter was that I was not going to get a biopsy or any other invasive procedure without talking to the person who wants to do it. I went home that night and in my severely anemic and weakened state began to research my condition and learned that according to The Mayo Clinic (a really important clinic) that I have 7 out of the 10 symptoms. Here is the list of symptoms:
Anemia symptoms vary depending on the cause of your anemia but may include:
Fatigue
Weakness
Pale skin
A fast or irregular heartbeat
Shortness of breath
Chest pain
Dizziness
Cognitive problems
Cold hands and feet
Headache
Yep, I was depressed. I swore I started seeing stars at that moment. I just
climbed my frail and anemic body under the covers and started to try to motivate myself to keep up the good fight. I searched the internet to try and find songs to encourage and inspire me because hey I’m dramatic. I found this list of 31 inspiring songs and realized one of my favorite artists was among them…Kelly Clarkson. I decided “Ode to my Anemia” and chose to listen to this song on repeat:
Yep, what doesn’t kill me will make me stronger! No Anemia, I will not die. I will fight! I will get healthy and I will survive. (I was going through it the other night).
The next morning, I called a good friend of mine to update him on my condition. He is in the ministry and he listened to my dramatic monologue on how the anemia was trying to take me out, but I wasn’t letting it. He never interrupted. That’s what friends do right? Listen. Well, when I finished he said, “I’m really sorry you’re going through this and you’ve consulted the internet, but have you gone to God with this?” I was hot.
Why was I hot? Because here he was trying to tell me what I should do about my medical condition and he doesn’t have a medical degree. Men, I tell you! I went off. I said, “Look, God is too busy to worry about me and my anemic self. He’s focused on bigger issues and bigger prayers. Like my prayer for Ebola, but thank you for your concern.” He was offended. He said, “Wow! It amazes me how people who are faithful to God don’t realize that God wants you to come to him in all things.” He said, “I never expected to hear that from you.”
Well, I was fit to be tied. Much arguing, overtalking and I gotta get ready for work statements and we ended the call. I went about my day talking with the office nurse who was making notes to send back to the doctor (still no call from the man himself) and then I said I need to write about this. I looked up what my friend said about God wanting me to come to him for everything and realized…he was right. I was wrong. It says so in Luke 16:10 (KJV) “He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much.”
I felt horrible. I was not going to God with my severe anemia because I wanted him to focus on Ebola and I thought this was too small for him. But, I should have known better. All things should be brought to him and he will decide what he’s too busy for. I owe my friend an apology, which I probably won’t give him due to my anemia being so severe that I am entitled a pass (hey cognitive problems okay). More important than my not giving an apology is the fact that I learned that I must go to God with everything.
As you may have guessed from my previous posts that God’s will is manifesting itself in my life right now. This last year has been one for the books, but in the midst of all the turmoil/trials/tribulations and heartache I’ve experienced, I’m good. I recognize God’s favor and I realized that God is only strengthening me, preparing me…for greater. One of my favorite songs is “Greater is Coming” by Jekalyn Carr. In the opening she explains:
An olive has to go through three stages for its oil to run. It has to go through the shaking, the beating and the pressing and just like the olive some of you may have felt like you go through the shaking,the beating and the pressing. You went through all of that for your oil to flow. Now, your greater is coming.
If it had not been for the shaking, I never would have been ready for the making, no. If it had not been for the beating, I would have never knew how anointed I would be. Oh, Yeah.
If it had not been for the pressing, I wouldn’t be able to walk into my destiny. He’s preparing me, preparing me, preparing me for greater.
I am standing on the precipice of my greater and God has allowed me to go through the stages like the pressing of the olive into oil: the shaking, beating and pressing have confirmed how anointed and ready to work for God I am. I started thinking how God prepares us to do His will in the midst of our trials and tribulations and how some folks just choose not to answer His call. I didn’t want to fight it anymore. I am ready to open up and share my testimony as to how awesome God is and all that he has done for me. I am ready to share my story. I recently reconnected with a childhood friend who had been called to Minister. His love for God was overwhelming in his description of his testimony. Being a novice, I wanted to research and find out what being called to ministry actually means. In my research I discovered that there are Five Elements of the Call to Ministry and the author says that they are: 1. Receiving the Call 2. Verifying the Call 3. Announcing the Call 4. Affirming the Call 5. Solidifying the Call Wow! I didn’t realize that there were elements that most experience when they receive the call to minister the word of God. There is consistency in this and we can use the elements to further develop our relationship with God. We don’t have to be called to the pulpit, be we are called to verify minister to non-believers everyday. So, how do I use the elements to define my call to share my testimonies to the masses? By being open to God’s word. I started to review these elements and see how they’ve been revealed in my life. Here’s what I’ve learned about myself… Receiving the call – I received the call to come to Christ at an early age. It wasn’t a call that I recognized. Whereby it was in Sunday school at a church in Texas (mega church). My Sunday school teacher said “How many of you know that if you die today you would go to Heaven?” Everyone raised their hand except me. I didn’t know where I would go if I died. I was 12. I wasn’t supposed to think about that. Death. But, I did and they took me downstairs in the sanctuary into a separate room where they prayed over me. They asked me do I want to know God’s love and have him watch over and protect me? They asked me do I believe that Jesus is the son of God who came down from Heaven and died for my sins? They asked me do I accept him as my personal Savior? I replied yes and instantly I was saved. But, I didn’t know what that meant. What was salvation? Was there something more I needed to do? I was 12 and still unsure of Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit. Would he keep the Boogey man away? Would he protect me from bullies? If I was mean to my sister, would I go to Hell? So, many questions and I didn’t have any answers at that moment, but my decision to follow Christ was verified a few months later. Verifying the call – After I had been saved and baptized I went away to Bible camp four months later. It was Texas and tornado season. We lived in Tornado Alley. All the churches sent the kids to Bible camp at the same time and that summer tornadoes struck down as we headed to camp. Some children were trapped on buses as rivers overflowed the roads, hanging in trees and being swept by rushing waters. However, we were lucky because we only experienced bad rain and arrived at camp safe and sound. God had saved us. Church camp allowed me to verify my relationship with God because it was the first time that God had spoken to me. We had tent revivals that week at Bible Camp and as I went to the altar to pray, God spoke to me. It seemed unbelievable that this kind of relationship was real, but that life line to God was established and verified. I mattered to God. In the next post I will review elements 3-5 and expand on my beliefs of accepting God’s call to testify that He is real and how its impacted my life.
