Day 12: Clarity

One of the things that I’ve often mentioned is that I’m grateful for clarity. I’m grateful that when I turned 40 I gained clarity. I started really listening to my inner voice. Focusing on what I wanted and needed. Being honest about what situations really were and just accepted that I was going to be fine because my faith was bigger than my fear allowed me to see clearly.

I cut out things and people that weren’t good for me. I no longer feel the need to offer an excuse about what I will and won’t do. My sanity matters more to me than those that feel inconvenienced by my truth. I just wished that I had gotten to this point earlier in life. Wow! It would have saved me years. But, life is funny like that. You don’t get what you need until God decides you need it.

But, I leave you with this piece of advice. Listen to your inner voice. Your spirit. Let it guide you and you will never go wrong. Look at situations and people for who they are and be thankful that you can see things clearly.

Day 12 in my #23daysofthankfulness has me happy and thankful for clarity.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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A Time Out is Necessary

So, I read this interesting article on Yahoo and was completely in awe of this young lady in China who stayed at a KFC for seven (yep 7) straight days after her boyfriend broke up with her. I was reading it and was like “I completely understand girlfriend” (raises glass in solidarity). Why did she do it? Because she needed to think.

Awesome isn’t it? The simplest answer is always the truest. She just sat there in that KFC wanting to think and eat. She said “I hadn’t planned on staying there long; I just wanted some chicken wings.” Dang, them KFC wings must be good in China! I loved this story because she reminded me that sometimes we all need just a break to figure things out in our lives. No real timetable to get over heartbreak or to just ponder our lives.

I felt that way this weekend. I really didn’t want to talk to people. Not because I don’t love my friends and appreciate the fact that I’m overwhelmingly blessed to have such great people in my life. It was just that I wanted a “time out” to focus on me and my thoughts. I didn’t return calls like I said (you know I hated that) and I just sat in bed watching TV and eating a bowl of Breyer’s Butter Pecan Ice Cream. It was perfect.

But, I felt remorseful because I didn’t know how to tell my friends that I needed a “time out”. I felt guilty. It wasn’t like I was depressed or upset about something. I was just in my head and wanted a “time out” for me. Yes, I had my son. Yes, I had to be his mother first, but outside of that, I just wanted me and my thoughts to be on one accord.

How many times do we go through life and just let it happen to us? How many times do we wish we could sit at home and veg out just because we want too? Nothing has to be wrong for us to want a break. People think if you want a “time out” that something is wrong and then they go about the great task of trying to decode and decipher if you’re having a breakdown. Sometimes I am. Not the “I need a padded cell kind” (not yet at least), but the kind where I need to regroup and regain focus because my thoughts are not aligned with my spirit.

Harmony. That’s what I strive for. Both my mind and spirit on one accord. Sometimes that doesn’t happen. Sometimes I spend so much time out of balance that it feels like I can never get a break. A “time out” to sit back, think, reflect and get back to me. So, if I didn’t call you back this weekend like I said, please owe it to my mind and not my heart.

I needed a “time out” to reflect and refocus my spirit and mind. I will now return you to your regularly scheduled program of my opinionated, loving and charismatic personality. I will make you laugh, cry and throw your hands up in frustration by my wit, but you know what? You love it and so do I. Let the frivolity recommence.

power-of-now

Chaos & Comfort for Ferguson

I awoke to find chaos had occurred in a small town called Ferguson, Missouri where a policeman shot and killed an unarmed black teenager. He was 18. Still in his teens. Not able to buy alcohol, but still legal. As tears streamed down my face and I ached for the young man I never met, I said a prayer for peace. Peace in that town. Peace in the family. Peace in the police department. Peace for humanity.

I can’t imagine what that family is going through at this moment. I am saddened to think “what if”. What if it had been my son? What if it had been someone I know? My church school students? My friend’s son? What words of comfort could I offer to help them through this difficult time? What words of comfort could I offer to other parents who raise black boys? I stumbled over the words to write that could offer a semblance of hope in a difficult time. Another young man was murdered and we are left to wonder why? Was he armed? No. It was this picture that broke my heart.

RIP Michael Brown
RIP Michael Brown

I believe in an officer’s right to protect and serve. I believe that in order to do their jobs sometimes they have to make difficult judgement calls in life threatening situations. I believe in safety. But, I also believe that there are bad people out there that want to wage a war against our youth. I believe that bad people work in all fields hidden in society where we are left wondering their true intentions. They wear a mask of anonymity and we always question it when situations like this occur. What is their real motive?

We will never know. Because it seems as though it is open season on our young black men. I am scared. I am scared for my son. I am scared for my beautiful black boys in my church school class. I am scared for the many nameless young men out here who will never grow up and be able to legally buy alcohol, graduate from college, vote or get married. Your life has ended and there is no excuse, but I will pray for peace for you, your family and your community. Violence begets violence and no one should ever think “Kill the Police” is a good idea.

Be patient my loves and know that we have a justice system. Although flawed in some areas, I know that God will have the final say in all that we do. Prayer is essential in this time and I want you to know that I found some words to comfort you in the chaos:

Revelation 21:4 (KJV):
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.