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Commit

“Today I commit my life to you. For better or worse, I vow to honor you and love you with all that I have and with all that I am.”

I sat there listening to that sentence over and over. We were more than this. I thought there was a deeper level of connection. How could I have been so wrong?

When I met Cameron 10 years ago, I had just committed to living a new life. I was in graduate school working on my MBA at Georgetown University. I had lived a life well beyond my years. I was a survivor.

Our dating life was surreal. Perfect with the right amount of friction and issues to remind us that we are only human. We dated for 3 years. Laughing, dancing and traveling allowed us to grow closer. I never shared much of my past with Cameron.

He knew that I had a traumatic life, but not to the point that I could ever talk about. He said he understood. He didn’t want to pressure me. He just wanted to love.

And he did. Everywhere. I was the envy of all my friends.

I had happiness. I had security. I had love.

What more could I ask for or ever need? Nothing. Which is why I was surprised when Cameron asked me to marry him after 3 years. I mean I said yes, but was shocked because I never imagined getting married. I was happy with the way things were, but being his wife meant that I could enjoy a legal sort of bliss.

Our wedding was perfect. The beautiful island of Capri. The sun, the sand and his family and friends made it perfect. We would honor our commitment with a beautiful destination wedding. I love Cameron.

My dress was perfect. Just enough sex appeal to keep him wanting, but beautiful and feminine to not be embarrassed when we had children. Heaven. I was in heaven.

I was also drunk from the sun and wine. I stumbled to the bathroom at the venue. The women’s had a line. I didn’t care. I pushed the door to the men’s room opened. I was horrified at what I saw.

My eyes wouldn’t register. What is this? I must be dreaming.

The sounds of guttural sex were both familiar and real. I pushed open the stall. I saw the man that I loved and just married screwing my maid of honor.

I began to scream. “Whore! Slut! Asshole!” My blood was boiling as I began swinging at both people. I was going to commit murder.

 

This post was inspired by the Daily Post. The word prompt was commit.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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First Day of Summer

Today is the first day of summer. A new season. New possibilities. Enjoy the warmer weather and make positive choices. Be mindful and set time away to do the things you want to do. Not just for others, but truly think of you.

I’m headed to court this afternoon in my never ending dilemma for a modification. Please pray for me, my ex and Munch. We all need it. The thing about it being the first day of summer is that it gives me hope that this season of hell is finally moving into a better place. Maybe it’s just my mind moving to a better place, I don’t know. Either way…I’m excited.

I wish you warm summer nights gazing at the star and beach filled days. I wish you cold drinks on a hot day that tantalize your tongue. I wish you relaxing times spent listening to the sounds of summer. Happy Summer!

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

 

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Baby Got Tanned

Hey loves!

I just returned from a wonderful weekend in Miami and I got tanned. I’m browner than normal, but loving this sexy colored skin that I put SPF50 on. LOL! I don’t want skin cancer. But, they are always telling me that my Vitamin D is too low. So, here’s to getting that sun on this chocolate skin, thighs and back.

Enjoy the pictures:

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I’m On Vacation

Hey folks,

I will be on vacation for a few days. Headed to the beach with my family for fun and relaxation today. I will not be posting for the week of 8/17-8/21. I am going to take a break and finally focus on some other projects including my book.

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I will write more when I return. Also, if everything goes well I’ll have a cool update for you on 8/24. Something juicy! LOL!

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Vacation Chronicles: Tampa

I returned from a great weekend in Tampa bonding with my best friend yesterday and I wanted to share some things that I’ve learned about me on this mini-vacation of self-reflection. As many of you know, I’m doing a lot of soul searching during this time to try and find out what my needs are and what my wants are. Apparently, they’re not the same. LOL. So, I started from the minute I got to the airport and decided to jot down a few things that I learned or rediscovered about myself.

▪ I like flying. It’s only when I am taking off and my stomach does that flip and I think “Oh God, please don’t let us crash” that I truly realize what a blessing it is to be able to fly in an airplane. The best part about flying? When your airfare cost $2.10.
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▪ I can travel with one carry-on and not the whole world. I’m trying to downsize my wardrobe when traveling and only packing the essentials. This Tampa trip allowed me the opportunity to see if I could do it. You know what? I could and I did.
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▪ I like hotel living. Even after living in a hotel earlier this year for 4 1/2 weeks, there is something sweet about not having to make my bed or pick up my towels, wash clothes, cook or clean. Yep, I’m spoiled.

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▪ I can relax. I can actually sit back, relax and have a vacation without planning out every single aspect of the trip. I am letting go of my controlling tendencies and just going with the flow. Taking the road I think I should travel. No matter the length, I’m enjoying the ride.
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▪ I love sisterhood. My best friend and I have known each other since we were 13. This was the second time that we have traveled together and the first time for us traveling by ourselves. (not counting when she visited me almost every weekend when I lived in NYC) to sort of commemorate and renew our friendship. We had a very relaxing time.
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▪ I love the beach. I love water and I love sand. I love the feel of the sun kissing my skin so gently that my skin color turns a golden brown or as my friend described “a pretty orange color”.
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▪ I love trying new drinks that I’ve never tried. Especially when they’re cheap. I am a nerd with cool tendencies and I love it. Check out this cool drink I had called the purple nerd.
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▪ I’m simple. I like good food, family and friends. I also love a good book. Finished reading the entire Divergent Series. On to the next one. I think I’m going to read Black Women in White America by Gerda Lerner next.
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▪ I’m sharing. I’ve always been very private in my writing and sharing of information about myself, ideas and family and through encouragement from my bestie, I’ve learned to open up and let people in. This blogging and writing has become real and I love when people say that they can relate. It means you get me.

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This year has been one for the books. But, my faith has been strengthened and I am taking charge of my own destiny. I am looking into my future with courage instead of despair and believing, no knowing that I will be fine.

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Family: We’re More than Just Blood

Okay, so I am still in vacation mode as I sip my venti iced coffee with extra cream and 9 Splenda from Starbucks this morning.  I am enjoying the toned color of my skin and I still have that hazy glow of pure bliss. This was the first family vacation that we have ever taken and I actually had a ball.  I couldn’t have imagined having so much fun with my siblings and their families.  If you know me, this in itself is a big deal because we all have varying degrees of dysfunction yet we mesh together in a broken way.  It works for us.

We spent four days in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina as one big ole family.  One of the greatest surprises is that my mom took the bull by the horns and made the reservation once we agreed on the date because she knew her children wouldn’t do it.  I applaud her for that.  The resort was nice, clean with lots to do and the weather was perfect.  We all agree that we would do it again next year and would like to make it a yearly trip to the beach with our families.  However, that being said, there are some tips that I want to share to make sure that you have a smooth and friendly family vacation.

  • Save more money.  Whether you are a family of two or a family of six, traveling with children can prove pricey.  We stayed at a resort that had a full size refrigerator and microwave and we stocked our fridge with lemonade, juice boxes, sandwiches and fruit to snack on while we lounged at the pool or beach all day.  Money is essential on any vacation trip and you should definitely have money to afford family dinners and activities.
  • Carpool.  Gas prices are out of control and it is more beneficial to car pool and share the gas prices with others than footing the bill on your own. Because we were able to drive our own cars, it was more economical than flying and having to rent a car.  However, my car takes premium gas and the fill-up is about $68.00.  We filled up 3 times.  I think next year I will rent a car that takes regular gas.  
  • Research.  I wish we had researched some really nice restaurants and things to do with the kids prior to going.  I would love somewhat of a schedule with suggested price listings so we could have planned our activities accordingly.  We took the kids to the Amusement Park that was small and not overly crowded and they had a blast, but I truly appreciate a more itemized and researched vacation suggestions.
  • Pictures.  Nowadays, most people have a smart phone and take pictures on their phone, but many of us forget to send or upload them so that we can all share and have access to the photos to make a photo book of our vacation.  I took many pictures on my smart phone and began uploading them on Shutterfly last night so that we can all view and have a vacation book for our memories.  It was a great trip so you want to make sure that you get plenty of photos of all your family members.
  • Relax and enjoy.  It is simple yet for many of us hard to do.  We don’t know how to relax and enjoy and go with the flow of the conversation or activity choices without complaining or trying to regulate it. I think if you have a suggested itinerary that you send out in advance, you can modify it or decide to opt out of activities that don’t appeal to you.  Whatever you do, just remember that you need to relax and enjoy the time together because it is a family vacation.  
The cutest thing was when my munch said to his cousin William when he saw him at the pool was “Hi, William.”  William said, “Hi, Brennan.  Whoa you’ve gotten dark.” Brennan laughed and smiled brightly.  He responded, “I’m 6 now too.” This trip rejuvenated my munch and strengthened his relationship with his cousins and for that I am extremely grateful.  I love my family and I’m thankful that this trip happened because I discovered that we’re more than just blood, we’re actually friends.
Myrtle Beach – July 2014