5 Ways to Make Me Happy

As a woman who knows her strength and in many cases an alpha female I wanted to share ways that a man can make me happy in a relationship. I’m not perfect, but I’m not helpless either. I don’t need a man to do everything for me. I’m independent and love being able to take care of business and I’m learning to show my vulnerable side. So, here are the 5 ways that a man can make me happy.

  1. Allow me to have my space. It is in this space where I allow my creative juice to flow. Whether it be girl time, mommy time, time to write my book, edit or do sorority activities, allow me that time. I can’t be with a man that doesn’t allow me the opportunity to have my own space. I’m already busy and I love being able to have time for the things that matter to me.
  2. Tell me what you need. I am not a mind reader. As I mentioned in #1, I’m busy and I have a lot going on. My conversations are usually random thoughts where I’m trying to get everything out. Sometimes they are jumbled, other times they are random. I mean no harm. My mind goes in a million directions. Tell me if I am missing something. I want to know what you need. I can’t read your mind.
  3. Know that I am going to hold it down. I need you to understand as an alpha female, I will bring something to the table. I’m going to hold it down and make your needs a priority if you do #2. I got you. However, there are some things that I believe you as a man should do. What things? Take out the trash. I will clean the kitchen and wash your clothes. However, I need you to take the trash out.
  4. Let me take care of you. This is different than #2, I want to take care of you. Mr. C and I struggle with this a lot. He is use to doing everything for everybody, but I got him. I like to take care of him. Whether it be sending him sweet texts, emails or buying him little gifts…I like to take care of him. He does so much for me that me taking him out to dinner for Father’s Day and buying him a gift is minimal in comparison. But, that’s my man and I like to spoil him. I like him to know that no matter what is going on in my hectic life that I am making him a priority.
  5. Have my back. I get stressed out dealing with the various challenges in my life. I need to know that you have my back. That when I need you, you will be there. It is in my reaching out to tell you that I’m frustrated about something that I am displaying my vulnerable side. I don’t need you to fix it. I just need you to love and trust me to know that it will get done. That all will work according to God’s plan. But, I need that support from you.

Well, that’s it. I’m pretty simple. What things matter to you when dating or in relationships?

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Why We Should Learn To Be Happy On Our Own

What a great post reminding us that we are in charge of our own happiness.

justanothersinglegirlinlondon

I’ve just finished watching a hilarious movie called ‘How to Be Single’ with Rebel Wilson & Dakota Johnson. Rebel stole the show as she always does, and despite the story being light hearted and entertaining it got me thinking.

When my second serious boyfriend let me just after University, I was devastated and hit an all time low. I didn’t go out, I stopped exercising, I lost a ton of weight, I couldn’t find happiness in anything I did anymore. I couldn’t stand the thought of being by myself, I hated my own company.

So I decided, to avoid being by myself, I would make myself super busy. I threw myself into my 9-5, then took on two extra jobs as a tutor and at my local radio station. My days would start at 7am and end around midnight. I would make sure all my weekends were fully booked months…

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Beywagon

Okay, so let me start off by saying that I truly love and respect Beyonce as an artist. She’s talented, beautiful and just an incredible representation of a woman with class. Now, I don’t think I’m part of the #beyhive or anything, but I am a fan. Not a diehard, I would spend my baby’s after care money to go see her in concert fan, but a fan who can watch and observe from the sidelines.

That being said…during my time of transition, I’ve gone through a metamorphisis and I realized that Beyonce has songs that really speak to where I’ve been, where I’m going and where I’m at. This is real here folks, I’m baring my soul so please don’t judge me.

Here are the four songs that speak to my life:

Crazy in Love

Believe it or not, I was crazy in love. I was his ride or die. I was the chick that always had his back until we had a child. I couldn’t seem to balance being his everything and being a mother. I went from being crazy in love to just being crazy in the end. But, in the beginning it was fire! Fire that burned out of control and caused an inferno.

 

I’m Scared of Lonely

Right after it ended and I was laying on the floor wanting to find peace in chaos it was this song that spoke to me. Beyonce sang “And I’m scared of being the only shadow along the wall and I’m scared hearing the only heartbeat I hear beating is my own and I’m scared being alone.” Yep, I was in it. Wallowing, self-pity, heartbreak and pain. Trying to breathe. Realizing that I am alone.

 

Love a Woman – (Okay Not All Bey, but fabulous nonetheless) Mary J Blige featuring Beyonce

But, after I got up off that floor realizing that it is going to be okay, I needed something to keep me motivated. It was this song that spoke life into me.  Mary sang “If you think you know how to love a woman, I feel there are some things you still need to know…”

Yep, I was there like “Sang it ladies”! (As she lifts her wine glass with tears in her eyes) Dang, I was going through it.

 

I Was Here

Now, isn’t that what it’s all about? Getting to the point of accepting your new reality? Realizing that what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger? Understanding that pain is a part of life and that you must go through some things to gain clarity on who you are as a person. Beyonce sang, “I was here. I lived, I loved. I was here.” No, there was no happy ending for me, but I loved. Truly. Completely. I’m a better person for my experiences. I’m stronger than I knew I could be.

 

So, there you have it folks. Sometimes you will go through situations where you see no way out and they are seemingly hopeless, volatile and unmanageable, but I tell you from experience…breathe and know that it will get better. The hardest and darkest days are seemingly while you are going through your storm, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Get to the end of it because I promise it will get better.

My First Article: Excited

So, I’m super excited to share with you my first article that has ever been published on a website outside of my own. For me, all I do is read in electronic format. I hate paper at home. I think it’s because I deal with a lot of paper at work. That being said, I’m trying to write my first book and I decided to take a break from writing to focus on getting some thoughts on “paper” and hopefully getting something published. Well, it happened. This past weekend, I receieved an email that my article was submitted for publication on one of my favorite websites. The website if “For Harriet” and I read it daily. Here is the published piece here.

It was edited and the title changed, but I’m published. The original is in my July posts. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to link it through embedding, but it’s located here: https://athomaspointofview.com/2014/07/09/femininity-and-all-that-jazz/