Reblog: Faith Doubters

Recently I heard a friend say to me that “God must truly hate him.”  I was taken aback by his statement and wondered why he would say something like that. Why did he believe that God had singled him out and decided that he hated him because he had to go through trials and tribulations?

Sometimes when we are in the midst of our storm, we can’t see the goodness of God’s grace because we keep trying to get out of the valley.  I explained to him that God doesn’t hate you and that if He did, I wouldn’t be here. Because as a child of God, I believe that he sometimes uses ordinary people like me to minister to those who may be down on their faith sometimes.  I told him he was being a faith doubter. Someone who has doubts that their faith in God is genuine.  I explained to him that what he needed was to develop an authentic relationship (as spoken by my wonderful Pastor) with God and understand that having faith doesn’t mean that you are immune to trials and tribulations.  Your faith will always be attacked and tested, but you can’t let that stop your praise.  Praise must continually be in your mouth when your faith is being tested.  I told him that our God is a God of second and third chances and that if he truly knew my story, he would know why I continually say thank you.  So, I surrounded him in love and prayer and lifted up his name in prayer.  I reminded him how awesome our God is.  Our God is great!

Sometimes when you doubt your faith, it helps to have a friend or friends that are praying for you to get through your storm so you will learn the lesson and know that God never gives you more than you can bear.  I’m thankful that I have had many folks do that for me and blessed that God allowed me to do that for someone else.  I found these great Do’s & Dont’s about getting through difficult times that I shared with him and I want to share with you when you are doubting your faith.  These are from one of my favorite websites, www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com.

Dos

Be Vigilant – don’t hide under a rock when life gets tough. This is the time to Courage UP; face it, and learn whatever you must to DO what’s necessary.

Be Wise -never stop learning and applying what you know. There’s a huge difference between awareness and application. The difference in how your circumstances turn out is hugely based on what you do, not what you know to do.

Be Set Apart – When you’re thinking like the herd it’s a good sign that you’re in deep doodoo. The herd takes the path of least resistance. You have to be willing to stand alone – to separate yourself from the chaos – from the company you keep to the noise in your head. You can’t think average or behave according to what’s expected by the herd.

Don’ts

Be not distracted – whatever has happened is to coexist with as much normalcy as you can muster. Whatever predominates your mind, reigns. Practice peace; it’s king.

Be not dismayed – after the initial hurt, even shock which you have to sit with in order to become present with your new reality, you must not lose faith in rebounding; resilience is built here. Courage UP: verbally reassure yourself that “this too shall pass” and “I can handle this” because it will and you can.

Be not discouraged – when it’s over don’t argue with the results. Accept them. That includes whatever your new reality is. The life ahead of you with your new conditions will draw you like a magnet if you’ll embrace it. There’s always a beautiful “life after”, regardless of the storm you’re currently facing.

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Can You Submit?

I told ya’ll about how Mr. C had this white horse moment in my post last week entitled A White Horse Moment and how it made  me feel. Well, in that same therapy session my therapist asked this question…

Can you submit to Mr. C?

I was like huh? She repeated the question “Can you  submit to Mr. C?” I responded. “Yes.” I began to explain to her that I learned in pre-marital counseling how women are supposed to submit and men are supposed to love their wives like Christ loved the church.

Ephesians 5:25-30 (NRSV)

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 in order to make her holy by cleansing her with the washing of water by the word, 27 so as to present the church to himself in splendor, without a spot or wrinkle or anything of the kind—yes, so that she may be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hates his own body, but he nourishes and tenderly cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, 30 because we are members of his body.

I told her that I believed that was my problem in my last marriage. That I didn’t submit, partly because I’m stubborn, but partly because I didn’t feel like he loved me like Christ loved the church. I told her that I really meditated and prayed over that verse to understand how I’m supposed to be loved and I never felt that. I said, “I mean Jesus died for the church. He died for us. So, what men are willing to die for their spouses?”

Now, I’m not expecting a man to die literally (I think I’m not expecting this) but the point of it is that loving a wife, your wife, should be as easy and flawless as your love of Christ and self. But, that doesn’t always happen. In that case, could you really submit to a man that didn’t love you with ease?

Please don’t think that I’m saying that I was flawless in my marriage. I wasn’t. I wasn’t a perfect wife nor anywhere near it. I was struggling because I didn’t know what the heck a wife’s real role was. What did it mean to be a wife? I mean I knew the same passage in Ephesians that stated…

Ephesians 5:22-24 (NRSV)

22 Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Savior. 24 Just as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands.

But how do you submit? How do you submit and give yourself truly to your spouse when you spend so much of your life being independent? It was hard. No one told me how to submit. I tried to run the household and so did he. So, you know what happened right? There can’t be two heads of household.

The thing that I learned about myself (because you really can only control yourself) is that tragedies in my life and how I grew up made me the way that I am. I have to believe that I have control over my life. I know that I really don’t have control over my life. I know that, but I try to control a lot of things in my life to feel some sort of normalcy. Mr. C showed up in that moment to “rescue me”.

That meant that he would be there for me and my son. That I could trust that he would protect and look after us. That was a huge shift in my life because I didn’t think that I could trust anyone outside of my two best friends. But, Mr. C was always there showing me that he had my back.

When I moved in April, my two best friends literally packed up my house and were there moving me with the movers. They did it all. They’ve always had my back. When I couldn’t afford the cleaning staff to clean the apartment because of all the expenses with the move and Munch’s birthday party I was in there cleaning every single night. Scrubbing and sweeping.

Mr. C said to me “Why haven’t you asked me to help you?” I told him that he wasn’t my boyfriend so I didn’t think I could ask for his help. He said “I’m your friend and you could”. He was.

He showed up after work and helped me clean my refrigerator and sweep and mop the kitchen floor with his work clothes on. He carried trash to the dumpsters and packed the last few things in my car making sure that everything was done. He had protected me.

Even in the early stages of us dating I realized that he had my back and I just had to let him. He’s learning to butt in and let me know that he’s there to help me when I’m being too stubborn or independent to ask for it and I’m learning to let my guard down and know that I could submit to a man.

I’m learning. I’m growing. I’m trusting.

Merry Christmas to You

Christmas Lesson

© Julesies More By Julesies

Published on December 2014

Christmas is a special time
To give, to serve, to love
It isn’t just about yourself,
But others that you think of

The presents, the trees, the glowing lights
Are fun but have no part
In what the real meaning of Christmas is…
That is in your heart

Even if other people don’t,
You should try to do
The things that you would want
Them to do to you!

The holidays are a busy time
But they are sometimes good
Because they keep you thinking
About others like you should

So this year, try to not think about yourself
But think of the things you can do
To help others have a wonderful Christmas
And you will find that you will be happy too

merry-christmas-greetings-lights-decorative-card-animated-gif-image

Wishing you the Merriest Christmas!

I’m a Conqueror

I woke up this morning excited. I have been sick for the last week and a half and it felt good to be out and about and even back at work. I was pumped. Yes, I have some things that are going on. Some worries I’m working through. Some concerns that are on my mind, but I was thankful for another day. I woke up feeling like superwoman. I told myself, “Girl, today is a new day. Yesterday was the past and today is a gift. Be present in the moment and know that no matter what happens today you are incredibly blessed and highly favored.”

Even when it doesn’t seem like it, I need to remember that I am a conqueror and this too shall pass. So, my #motivationalmonday message is based off one of my favorite chapters in the bible: Romans. Romans 8:34-39 which reads:

“Who is to condemn? It is Christ Jesus, who died, yes, who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us.[a] 35 Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all day long;
we are accounted as sheep to be slaughtered.”
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

So, I want to tell you the same thing. You’re a conqueror. Nothing we can do will separate us from the love of Christ. Trust me (I’ve done some things I thought would separate me and He still loves me).

Listen to Estelle’s song “Conqueror” and tell me that you are not inspired. No matter who is counting you out. Estelle sings “I’d rather stand tall than live on my knees because I’m a conqueror and I won’t accept defeat.”

Neither should you. God has already determined that you will win, so love, know that it will happen.